Quidnunc Journal

Stick with me people.....

2011-01-26T18:42:00.000-08:00

The worst has happened - I haven't had a computer for the last week - and there is a chance, a more than slim chance that I might be without a computer for another week or so....the horror, the horror....
It isn't that moving has been so horrible, or that I don't have any time to blog- I have no computer. My hard drive broke (no problem says Dell, we will send you another one)......but when the hard drive arrived and we tried to unscrew the screws to replace the hard drive, one screw won't budge......(no problem says Dell, just send in the whole laptop and we will fix in 8 to 10 days)...... Have you ever SEEN me without computer access? It isn't a pretty sight......
Tomorrow a miracle could happen in computer world, but I am afraid to jinx it....but if you see me posting tomorrow night with photos and updates and my Giveaway - you will know that the world is turning as it should and I will be in computer heaven.
All is well here - I have lots of things for the Giveaway and I will be posting as soon as I can ........ In the meantime, I do recommend that you see Barney's Version - Paul Giamatti is great and the movie does a great job showing Montreal and Canada as seen by Mordecai Richler. I have also loved The King's Speech and The Social Network ..... and no, I am not going to see Black Swan - I just don't think it is my thing.....
Come back soon for more Giveaways.....help me get rid of my stuff!

Surfacing....barely surfacing...

2011-01-20T11:54:00.000-08:00

After 21 years in one place, I guess I had forgotten how complicated it is to move and after 21 years of accumulating stuff, I guess I had forgotten how complicated it would be to move. Our move to the rented apartment and the move of stuff to storage happened on Saturday. The phone company made a mistake and we had no phone or internet (despite having made sure that change would be seamless) - and it took a few days to get our television service changed. So it has been days since we have been hooked up to the world. Then, just as the wireless internet was installed, my laptop chose to self-destruct. Dell has promised me a new hard drive will arrive by early next week, but until then I won't really feel connected. Next week, once I have my computer running, I will continue with new installments of "Giveaway - Help me Get Rid of My Earthly Possessions". Lots of stuff coming up!

The good news is that we find our new apartment to be comfortable and convenient. We are on ground level with a garden and deck - and we are close to our old neighbourhood. It is a strange feeling to have no control over our surroundings - the kitchen and bathrooms in the apartment are vintage 1970...but there is nothing we can do about it. On the other hand, when the drapery cord broke the other day, I just called the manager to come and fix it - presto - like magic - we didn't have to do or pay anything!

We are definitely suffering from moving fatigue. I can't imagine packing up and moving in the next few months - hmmmmm.....this will be interesting.....

Day Eight Giveaway.....Free DVDs of the Office

2011-01-13T21:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I posted a photo of our dining room. Here is what the dining room looks like today.....filled with boxes and bins and crates. And it isn't the only room in the house that looks like that. We are almost finished packing up everything - and a good thing that is, given that we move bright and early on Saturday morning.

I have to tell you how much I love these packing labels. My friend Leslie passed these on to me after her recent move - and I think they are a great creation:

Once a box is packed, just slap one of these mamas onto the box.....Let's hope these things work and that the boxes are delivered by the movers into the right rooms.
Today's giveaway is something completely different. I am sharing DVDs from my favourite show - The Office - Season 1 and Season 3.

The DVDs can be yours if you want them - just post in the Comments and I will send them to you in the mail. I am going to keep the first giveaway offerings open for a few more days. You are welcome to ask for more than one item - if there are more than one person wanting an item, I will draw names.

Day Seven Giveaway.....

2011-01-12T13:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday an old trivia friend from Buffalo mentioned in the comments about the accumulation of "found" items in our home. I think the first time she visited my home she was shocked to hear about the "stolen" Grecian columns in my dining room. You can see one of the columns in this picture:

When I first bought this house, I sought out cheap decorating and renovating solutions - there was no Craigslist 20 years ago.....so the Salvation Army,Value Village, garage sales and......resourcefulness and larceny....were the only ways to add character to my house. When an old charming house across the street was slated for demolition, my junking friend Lorna and I went and removed the Grecian columns from the front porch (under the cover of darkness).... With brazen gall we carried both plaster columns across to my house and decided they would look perfect in my dining room. Theft? perhaps..... But as the house was demolished the next morning, I like to consider that I gave these beautiful columns a loving reprieve. I should mention that the columns have been very happy in my house all these years......
Along the way, I picked up other treasures that we have enjoyed - and now that I am selling the house, I have needed to sell and give away lots of this loot. The big items are flying out of the house thanks to Craigslist - it warms this old junker's heart to see that furniture and accessories will be again recycled and reused.
For today's giveaway - a tribute to my junking friend Lorna - who actually climbed INTO a dumpster and retrieved this treasure. This enamel coffee pot (8 3/4 inches high) has been used frequently over the last 20 years stuffed with daisies, garden roses, wild flowers or hydrangea blossoms. If you want it, let me know in the comments and I will send it to you - a dumpster treasure.

Day Six Giveaway......

2011-01-10T21:19:00.000-08:00

I won't bore you with more packing news - because there is really no news - just packing. Today I started to worry that we may have rented too small an apartment - so if I can get a bigger apartment tomorrow we will leap at the opportunity.

I want to tell you about my giveaway.....When I bought this house over 20 years ago, I made a decision to decorate it frugally - using recycled items. I shopped at the Salvation Army and Value Village - looking for interesting things that needed a new home. Along the way I picked up all kinds of items .... and now 20 years later, it is time to pare down my belongings.....
For today's giveaway......here are some salt and pepper shakers from Germany. I don't know why I bought them many years ago - they are quite happy little girls - in good condition. If you would like them, leave a comment - and I will send them to the lucky winner. Free..........salt and pepper shakers....

This and all my photos are taken with my Blackberry.....I know the quality is bad, but I couldn't find a camera in all the boxes if I tried!

Day Five Giveaway......

2011-01-09T21:12:00.000-08:00

Six more sleeps and we will be moving out of the house. Six more days to pack and make decisions about what to take, what to store and what to donate. Tomorrow my older meaner sister leaves....what a terrific help she has been. Yesterday she unplugged our small chest freezer and chipped away the ice. Luckily we had been pretty diligent about consuming stuff from the freezer (and not adding to it in the last few months), so everything fit into our upstairs fridge freezer ready to be moved. We aren't taking the freezer to the apartment and I will miss it.....I have had one for over 25 years. We are thinking of storing it, so that we can use it if we have room in our new home. Here are things I usually stored in the freezer: enchiladas (Miguel would make at least 5 trays of enchiladas each time he made them - handy for visitors and special dinners), frozen strawberries and blueberries (for smoothies all year round), soups and stews (made in the slow cooker and stored for future use) and cupcakes (ready to be frosted when friends dropped in)..... I miss the freezer already.....

So....for today's giveaway we have another little folk art offering. A wooden fish. He is rather a happy little fish, don't you think?

If you would like this fish, just leave a comment (please don't email me - just comment here so that I can give the items away in accordance with my self-made rules). If you are the lucky winner, I will mail it to you (promise!). How easy is that?

Day Four Giveaway

2011-01-06T14:05:00.000-08:00

What is there to say about moving? It is a lot of work...... and after over 20 years of staying in one place, I can understand why a person decides to just stay put. We don't move until the 15th of the month, and so I want to keep dishes, food and daily needs (bathroom stuff, our bed, underwear) untouched until a day before - so there will be a flurry a few days before to get things done.

We also realized that there was stuff that will needed to be "retired". BC Hydro just came to pick up our basement fridge (that has kept beer and wine cold for over 20 years). BC Hydro has a recycling program for old inefficient fridges that are in working condition - they take the fridge away for free and then send me $30. I consider that a WIN. Beds are a different matter. I have decided to store 2 queen sized fairly new beds.....and we are taking a single trundle bed with us to the apartment. That left us with a very old weary single mattress and boxspring. The City of Vancouver now charges $20 for each mattress and boxspring that is taken to the landfill. Plus, we would have to hire someone to transport the bed to the landfill. We did discover that there is a now a mattress recycling company in Vancouver - for $78 dollars both the mattress and boxspring were picked up today and will be made into a new bed (and will not take up space in landfill). I consider that a part BUMMER ($78) and a part WIN (yeah, recycling).

Of course, there are some treasures that NEED to be shared and so I present to you the Day Four Giveaway. This is a stainless steel pitcher that was used by my parents in those Mad-Men-glory-days of martinis and cigarettes.

The pitcher (decanter?) has a red knob and handle (probably red lucite?) - I think it is very sophisticated.....so that is why it has to go - sophistication ain't us!
If you want it, leave a comment and I will mail it to you for free. Seriously....

Day Three Giveaway .....

2011-01-04T20:49:00.000-08:00

Day three of packing.....day three of sorting through things in the cupboards and drawers of this old house. Today we worked on the kitchen - platters, trays, serving dishes galore. Too many things. Muffin tins of all sizes - cake pans - baking trays.....will I ever need them again? Regular sized muffins, maybe....everything else - GONE. My older meaner sister was here for Christmas, and she has been here to help pack up all the stuff. Our progress is good - we don't move for 11 more days - and already the house is filled with boxes.

I never did tell you about Christmas - about how I spent the holidays with both of my siblings for the first time in 45 years. My parents split when I was 12 and we never all spent holidays together again (I know, I am old). Believing that this is our mother's last Christmas, my brother and sister made a special effort to come here for Christmas. Everyone stayed here in this house for the last time - it really was a lovely holiday.

Christmas seems like a long time ago - but I do have to report in on our Christmas Eve present exchange. We always have a big gathering on Christmas Eve for dinner. This year we had 14 for dinner - family and friends. A few weeks before Christmas I make a polite request* from everyone attending - I ask everyone to send me (in point form), the best and most memorable events of their past year. I then put all the reports together in a narrative - using the words "right" and "left" as many times as possible. For example: "he left his job this year and started right into a new career"; "right when we thought she was feeling better"....you get the drift. Everyone brings a wrapped $15 dollar gift to dinner - and after dinner everyone gets their gift and I start reading the story. When I say the word "right" - everyone passes the present in their hands to the right.....When I say the word "left" - everyone passes the present in their hands to the left. Everyone likes to hear about their year and it is a good reminder to all of us of what was important. At the end of the narrative (and there are many ways to use the words "right" and "left") you get the present that is in your hands. The presents are more fun than functional - but everyone makes an effort to choose an interesting gift. It is our special way to celebrate our blessings of the past year.
Now - for today's giveaway. Who would like a barely used potato ricer?

It is in perfect condition - and for those serious cooks, getting a free potato ricer might be the most deliriously delightful thing that happens to you in early January. If you want it, just comment here and if you are the lucky ricer winner, I will send it to you for free. You will be helping not only the post office, but a silly old crazy lady who is enjoying having a reason to stop packing and imagines her treasures traveling across the continent. Who knew a potato ricer could be so powerful?

*polite request doesn't always work - some family members (and I am not mentioning names) take cajoling, begging and threats to get their assignments completed. Good thing I am tenacious and bossy........

Day Two Giveaway.....

2011-01-03T22:22:00.000-08:00

Today the packing continued apace.... Along with packing comes more purging - many books went to the Charity Book Bin (man, were the books heavy), paint cans and solvents went to the paint recycle depot, boxes of household items went to the Salvation Army. Because we wanted the house to be welcoming and warm over the holidays, we left all the packing until this week - and with moving in the middle of the month, we really don't have time for a garage sale....so...other than large items which have been sold on craigslist, we are giving most items away.

We also went to visit our new apartment to take measurements so we can determine what we want to take with us. The apartment seems smaller than I remember it...but we will play around with the floor plan and furniture templates tomorrow to make some final decisions.

Now for my Day Two Giveaway......I thought someone might like this wire basket...... I used it in many different ways over the years: filled with ornaments at Christmas or filled with fruit - and - for the last few years - filled with old photos. The basket sat on the piano ready for anyone to look at the photos.....

If you would like this basket, leave a comment and if you are the chosen one, I will mail you the basket - no charge to you. This giveaway is just a crazy project - to find homes for the things that we have enjoyed and loved in our home. The deadline for this item is Sunday, January the 9th..... More crazy things are coming up this week - check back to see if you want any of our stuff!

Day One Giveaway....

2011-01-02T20:12:00.000-08:00

So - today is the day that true packing started. As we are renting an apartment for a few months (and haven't purchased a new house yet) we are putting some "stuff" into storage....and we are moving some "stuff" into the apartment. A few months ago, I put bins for each of my children into storage - bins containing their artwork, report cards, irresistible clothing items, yearbooks, photos. Although I thought we had already weeded out items we no longer needed, somehow today I found lots more items that we just can live without.

So today starts the "Who Wants My Stuff" giveaway. Each day I will choose an item - and I will try and delight you and surprise you each day with a different item that you just can't live without. For example - today I present to you .........a folk art wooden bunny:
This loveable little guy is made of 3/4 inch thick wood - about 12 inches long. The bunny was painted white, but the paint is worn away in some spots.

If you would like this sweet bunny, just leave a comment - any comment. On Sunday the 9th, the winner will be selected and I will contact the winner and then send the bunny to your home. Tomorrow I will post another item - the winner will be randomly generated each day - so you can get more than one item (if you are, unlike me, the lucky type)

Giveaway - A Month of Giveaways.....

2011-01-02T06:42:00.000-08:00

Hey kids - it is me - back in the blogging world. I have been absent - a neglectful blogger. One of the reasons for not blogging was that with all the changes going on, I knew that everything I wrote would be too self-absorbed worrying prevarication. And you would hate that, right?

Here is the short version - we sold the house that I have lived in for almost 21 years. We might have sold prematurely in that we didn't know where we would live or what we would do. And - after months of looking at new places, I can announce that..........we still don't know where we will live or what we will do. Never mind....we are leaving this house this month. We have rented an apartment and we will continue to.....figure out where we want to live and what we will do.

Last night was the last party in our home. Friends from Toronto were out skiing at Whistler and they came to dinner here (for Miguel's Mexican food). My family was all here for the holidays. So up until today, we have barely started to pack. But today the packing starts in full force.

Over the years, I have collected things for the house. When we were getting the house ready for sale, we took boxes and boxes of collectibles and books to the Salvation Army. I have sold some things on craiglist and I am delighted to know that people appreciate when things are offered for free on craigslist. As I have started packing, I realize that even more stuff needs to be discarded. And...I thought it might be fun to see how much stuff can be shared with my blogging friends......

So....here is the plan. Call this the "Who wants My Stuff?" Project. Every day I will post something I have discovered in my packing......If you want it, just leave a comment......If you are selected I will send it to you!

I am off to start packing - check in later today for the first "Who wants my Stuff" offering......

Passwords.....

2010-10-14T09:33:00.000-07:00

Martha - you know I love you. But today's Organizing Tip of the Day has me flummoxed. Martha's tip today is about storing and organizing passwords. You know all about passwords - the ones you need for debit cards, online banking, cell phone activations, mail accounts (and on and on and on). Here is what Martha suggests:

"It's hard to keep all of those numbers and characters straight, especially since you shouldn't use the same password for more than one service. Some people store them in a document on their home computer. This is fine -- if (and only if) you encrypt the file, a feature available on most personal computers.

Encryption scrambles text, so it will be unreadable if someone hacks into your system. Even with this defense, make sure your main log-in is protected by a ''super password,'' one that has at least eight characters and a mix of uppercase and lowercase letters, symbols, and numbers.

There are other, more high-tech storage options to choose from. For example, you could put your passwords on a portable USB flash drive with fingerprint recognition. The biometric device costs upward of $100, but you'll be the only person in the world who can access its contents, because only your fingerprints will open it.

Then there are programs that you can download from the Internet (often for free) that will maintain a protected database of passwords for you."

Whoaaaaaa.......What? EncryptionRMe? I don't think so.

My "Card of Passwords" that I keep near the computer is the best solution I have been able to figure out. Of course, that doesn't help me when I am not near the desktop computer.....Organizing my Passwords is a dream I have (similar to my Organizing My Spice Jars Dream)....On the other hand, organizing passwords will have to take a back seat to these more important dreams: Organizing My Spice Jars, Packing up a House that has been lived in for 20 years, Finding a New Place to Live as well as the Figuring Out How to Find Spouses for Every Single Person I Know....

If you have any un-Martha suggestions for password organization, let me know......

Now it gets Scary....

2010-10-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

Well, we have done it. We have sold the home we have lived in for 20 years. We are moving on - we are moving. Now what do we do? We are staying in the house until the middle of January - so we can have one last Christmas in the house. A good thing, because my whole family will be here (right, first-born?) Because my mother is terminally ill, everyone decided to come for the holidays this year.

Now we need to find a new place to live. We have started looking, but we aren't sure what we really want or where we really want to live. I need to stay close to my mother for the short-term so I can get her to appointments and handle all her daily living needs. Maybe just rent for a year until we can figure it all out?

It is a relief that the house is sold - we only had about 10 days of keeping it pristine and sparkly for showings, but we did have to wait for over a week for the deal to finalize - it is just nice it is all done.

Cat Tricks....

2010-10-08T18:06:00.000-07:00

A friend from my trivia days asked if our cat (now deceased) was the cat she remembered from many years ago.....the magic rolling-over trick cat. Yes....our cat (now deceased) was trained by me to roll over for treats and wet cat food. I had never had a cat growing up, but someone once mentioned to me that cats could be trained to do tricks - so early on, I thought I would see if I could teach the cat a trick. Before I would put out wet food, I gave a command to roll over (and I showed her how to roll over the first few times). At the beginning, the cat gave me an "I hate you look" - but after a few days, the minute the wet food or treats came out, she would roll over happily. It was a great party trick (and obviously memorable) - but I always regretted not teaching the cat to do something useful, like unloading the dishwasher. In a related matter - teaching my children to do tricks? Completely unsuccessful.....

Craft of the Day from Martha....

2010-10-08T06:54:00.000-07:00

Martha - you know I love you. But today you have made me question my devotion. Your daily craft shows how I can update my fall look with your "statement necklace made from pantyhose and rubber balls". This is a joke, right? Please tell me Martha that this is a joke......

Watch this.....Giving Away a Fortune.....

2010-10-06T12:40:00.000-07:00

On 60 Minutes this weekend, this segement focused on the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

I love the idea that the Gates made a decision that their wealth should be used for public good (and not inherited by their children) and that they have challenged other billionaires to divest themselves of portions of their wealth to make the world a safer and healthier place.

In the middle of it all.....

2010-10-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

As we were packing up the house and cleaning and getting ready to list the house, our cat started to get sick. My daughter brought the cat home when she was about 11 years old - my beloved first born then left the house to go to school and start her adult life when she was 17......and the cat was left behind. Now, 16 years later, after a healthy and happy life, the cat had to go to kitty heaven. For someone like me who hates change, the changes keep on happening....leaving a house I have been in for 20 years and having to say goodbye to a cat who has been part of our lives for 16years....

We do have an signed offer for our house that is conditional until next Tuesday....keep your fingers crossed that things will firm up and we will be moving. Where will we be moving to? Hmmmm.....now that is a good question.

Packing Up Childhood Memories....

2010-10-05T12:54:00.000-07:00

My children don't live in Vancouver. Hopefully they will in the future, but right now their lives are in cities that are 13,945 miles apart. (How do I know that you might ask? Well, go to this site and it will tell you the distance between two spots on the earth). Their sojourns are likely temporary- so they have left me with all their beloved toys, books, yearbooks, photos, artwork, certificates and awards and pieces of childhood clothing. A few years ago, I started to put important childhood "stuff" into a container for each child. If I thought something was worth keeping, it went into their container. But - as I needed to clear out their rooms for selling the house, I went into major container-stuffing. The goal was to have bins clearly marked that could stay safely in storage until each child wanted to be reunited with the memories of their childhood.

One rainy weekend in early September I moved about 16 plastic containers into storage. I thought I was being rather brilliant. Their precious childhood items are waiting for them. Had I started earlier, I might have organized the bins, but I just collected stuff from all through the house - if it needed to be preserved for the kids, it went into their respective containers.

The idea that we are moving is sinking in. Slowly, it is sinking in. We will need to construct a new narrative for our lives. You are lucky that you haven't had to listen to all the ideas that have been swirling through my brain (mostly in the middle of the night). The time has come to just jump into the water - take the plunge. We can do it......

Really really quidnunc....

2010-10-03T19:10:00.001-07:00

I never meant to stay away from this blog ..... Somehow once I stopped writing for a few days, I got out of the routine. Plus, although I had lots of things winging around in my brain I just couldn't get my fingers to do the typing. The summer has come and gone - the leaves are falling.

I am always curious about what lies ahead. Heck, this blog is meant to help me figure out the quidnunc-i-ness of life - the "what next"....

Up until Miguel got cancer I was happy about staying in my house and continuing with my work - the old status quo. I bought this house as a single mom when my baby boy wasn't even 3 years old.....I raised the kids in this house - they went to the school up the street - they brought their friends home - we celebrated in this house. I am sentimental about my home.

While we were in Kansas I realized that the time probably was coming to sell the house - but making big decisions then seemed unwise. The idea has been in the back of my muddled mind for a long time. In the spring I started to think it was time - but then my mother got sick and there was no time for new projects. And then.....over this past summer, I spent lots of time thinking of all the pros and cons, the whys and the wherefores.... If I had written everyday about all my ruminations you would have thought I was crazy - "just make a decision girl"....

So....I spared you the agony of listening to me.... As my mother has been relatively healthy I thought that if I was ever going to act, the time had come. So at the end of the summer I started the pre-sale purge... shredded business papers, organized shelves, donated lots of stuff to the Salvation Army, stored the children's artwork, photos, memorabilia in big bins for the day they have their own places..... In a brilliant moment of inspiration I invited my older meaner sister to come out to motivate and help. She arrived in early September and we packed and hauled and organized and cleaned. And then....presto - the house was put on the market.

It has been about 10 days since the first open house for agents - and I have to confess that I am scared shitless about what comes next. Townhouse, apartment, city, suburbs, out of town?? How will we ever be able to make a decision? What if we are making a big mistake?

See.....aren't you glad you didn't have to listen to all this indecision all summer long?

Things I have learned about parties for 90 year olds....

2010-07-19T13:49:00.000-07:00

Here is the invitation that my talented friend Leslie designed for my mother's party. A few years ago, Leslie and Miguel did a painting day at our house and Leslie used my mother's tea cups (which I have, but never use) for a painting. She put the painting on the invitation - brilliant, don't ya think?

Here are some things I observed and lessons I have learned:
1. Even though the invitation requests "no gifts" - virtually everyone who replied, asked if they could bring a gift. Some of my closest family and friends really DID want to supply a gift - and I am grateful to them for their generosity. I realized that their gifts were helpful and very welcome. My mother did get some flowers, some chocolates and even some lottery tickets.... some people just wanted to bring a present! Lesson #1 - if people do want to help or bring a special gift - receive with gratitude.
2. The invitation requested that guests could bring a card, note or photo for our memory book. What do you think that means? My mother got four birthday cards signed "Love Doris" - there were four Dorises obviously in attendance. (I am pretty sure not one Doris is reading this blog - so excuse my cattiness) Which Doris signed which card? Who knows.... So - Lesson #2 - sign a birthday card with your first and last name if necessary - let the recipient know who you are.
3. This isn't just about the numerous Doris guests - it applies to lots of the guests.....write a personal note on the card. How about: "thanks for being a good friend", "thanks for playing bridge with me", "you are a very kind person" - something - say ONE complimentary thing about the honouree. This is likely my mother's last birthday - and it is a celebration of her life (with her in attendance) - but for anytime you send a birthday card or greeting - make it count - make it personal - make it show that you value the person. "Love Doris" just doesn't cut it....(sorry Dorises)
4. If the invitation says it is a "surprise" party - don't come half-way through the party and be surprised that you have missed the surprise entrance. I would reconsider my wording for the next surprise party - I would probably put "Please come at 2:00 for a Surprise Party" - is that clear enough?
5. Lesson #5 - setting up and taking down a party always takes way more time and energy than you can ever estimate. The day of my mother's party was one of the hottest days of the summer - and the air conditioning in the hall was certainly not working well. Not only did we need every minute of the 2 hour set-up, we were all frazzled, fried and sweating by the time we finished setting up tables, moving furniture, putting up decorations. Luckily my brother, sister and son were there to help - and we had hired help to manage the kitchen. But we could have used more help and more time - and a shower before the party to cool off!
6. My mother loved her party and we were happy to give her a great memory to help her through the painful and dark days ahead. I am reduced to a puddle of tears every time I think of all the nice things my friends did for ME to help me make the party a success. Two friends helped by making sandwiches and helping to serve at the party. My ex-inlaws provided the flower centerpiece, two friends flew in to attend the party, a friends made the invitations another served as photographer. Old friends of mine sent flowers and special notes and photos.... Wendy, bless her, sent a huge cake and fruit plate to my house for all the relatives who were in town for the party - it was a hugechocolatedeliciousgift. So - Lesson #6 - friends know what friends need (be it help OR chocolate) and every gift is cherished and remembered.

Oh yes - one more lesson - be sure to pack up left-over tea sandwiches, cupcakes and cookies and give them to guests as they leave.... everyone loves tea sandwiches!

This time last week......

2010-07-17T20:32:00.000-07:00

This time last week, my mother's surprise 90th birthday party had finished and we were all exhausted. I haven't blogged in a long time - it was very busy before the party and things stayed busy until a few days ago.

My older meaner sister flew in a week or so before the party to help out. I put her to work on my various crazy ideas - assembling the mint party favours..... Here are the favours all set out ready to be transported to the party:

The favours were clustered on the tables and they looked festive and bright.

The next crazy project involved making cookies from this "Message in a Cookie" creation from Williams Sonoma.

It seems easy enough - make the batter, roll out cookies and then press in the personalized message..... but....I am not a good cookie maker, I am a worse cookie-roller-outer, and the day we were baking these cookies it was one of the hottest days in Vancouver (did you know that no one in Vancouver has air-conditioning?) I did mix 4 batches (light pink and dark pink) but only ended up baking two batches (did I mention it was as hot as Hades that day?) Here are the cookies before they went into the oven. Not bad for a bad cookie-roller-outer, I must say:

Other things I made my older meaner sister do: help me make 125 cupcakes for the party (on another hot hot day), make frozen and fresh tea sandwiches for the party, shop for party supplies, shop for provisions for all the family that would be arriving....and on and on....
We managed to keep the party a complete surprise from my mother. She said she was so shocked when she came into the hall that she almost collapsed. There were over 80 people - friends from her activities and neighbourhood. There were so many great things that happened .....great acts of generosity, kindness and friendship. I will report in those things tomorrow.
You might remember that I scanned all her photos over the last few months - and I put together a rough slideshow/video of her life to show at her party. My firstborn, daughter and heir edited it.....and we showed it at the party. If you are interested, here it is:

Weekend Update....

2010-06-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

We had one day of sunshine yesterday and the clouds have returned. Where is summer?
Never mind, there are other things to do.....

such as....radiation therapy. My mother started radiation on Friday. They are radiating her hip and sacrum at the bone cancer sites. This reportedly will result in marked pain relief - so it is worth it. As the bone cancer spreads, she can have more radiation in other sites. Next week, there will be more tests to see if there are other bone cancer sites, but in the meantime she has a full week of daily treatments next week.

I had intended to go to the Penticton Bridge Tournament next week, but for the third year in a row, I am unable to attend. The first year, Miguel was still in cancer treatment, last year, my mother had her car accident and she was living with us while she recovered, and this year cancer has visited our family again and I need to take my mother to treatment every day next week. Maybe next year??

Weddings......

2010-06-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

It is funny that my last post was a musical proposal video - because this post is about weddings. Not about the weddings of my progeny (I am looking at you girl and boy child)...but weddings of other people. In the last week, I was surprised and saddened to hear about the Tipper and Al Gore divorce ......and I was revolted to think that someone would actually marry Rush Limbaugh. I was disgusted that Elton John would sing at the wedding of the homophobic and intolerant Rush Limbaugh, even if the one million dollar fee is reportedly to benefit his foundation. Rush Limbaugh gets to marry (for the fourth time) and gay marriage is under attack everywhere. This NYTimes article today is a good overview of the marriage highlights of the last week .... I have never understood marriage (and I certainly don't know what makes it endure or thrive) but I cannot tolerate those who believe that it is an institution that should not be available to every person. Elton John - what were you thinking?

Wedding Proposal in the Park......

2010-06-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

For all you romantics - an elaborate public musical proposal. Personally, I like the signs - reminds me of the movie Love Actually.

A new week......a new weak....

2010-06-01T11:05:00.000-07:00

The first day of June - another month has flown by. I realize how lucky I am to not be working right now. When Miguel got sick, I stopped working and we moved to Kansas - despite all kinds of worries and financial concerns, it was nice to be able to focus on helping him. I now feel the same way about my mother. I have the freedom and time to help her navigate her new situation and to help make her life comfortable and as enjoyable as possible - oh, and plan her 90th surprise birthday party. First I will tell you about my mother and then - I will display my PartyMamaBerserkitude.....

My mother has had pain for a few days in her shoulder and chest. Yesterday we headed off to the emergency department in the morning (at the advice of her doctor) and we found out that she has a fracture in her sternum. A pathological fracture - so the cancer is spreading in her bones. This is a big blow - it means that her pain needs to be controlled with morphine - and this will affect her daily life. It also means that the fragility of her bones is confirmed in a bone-crushing way - this cancer means business. One good thing is that she accepts that she needs help with daily functions - so we will work on getting more home care for her in the morning and in the evening.

Having had other emergency visits in the last few months, I took a few minutes to get prepared before taking her to the hospital. I packed water, sandwiches and fruit. I also packed a Boost nutritional drink for my Mom. I made sure I had a good engaging book to read and I threw in my mother's overnight kit. I had Miguel drive us to emergency, so I didn't have to worry about parking (terribly expensive and the meters need to be tended every hour). It was masterful planning - and it meant that in the afternoon when my mother's morphine had kicked in and her pain was controlled that she could eat her favourite sandwich (while we waited for test results). Brilliant, I tell you.....

While sitting in emergency and worrying that my mother was having a heart attack or heart failure (that was the initial concern), I started to think.....sheeesh....what do I do about her party?? Crazy thinking.... In any event, my mother has returned to her Lodge and she was down at dinner and playing bingo last evening - so nothing is going to stop her.

Here are the finished wooden blocks (made from the fence that fell down when hit by a tree). Miguel finished making the blocks - he is more meticulous than I am. Here is the mystery - I had 13 pieces of wood and photocopied 13 sets of images - and somehow I ended up with only 8 complete blocks. My daughter (who had resized the images and turned them into black and white wonders) commented that the photos I posted the other day of these blocks, were a bit fuzzy. There is a fuzzy explanation..... what you are seeing is a telephone camera photo of a photocopy of an old photo.

My intention was to have the blocks on the tables for the party - people can look at them and see my mother's life in 6 photos. After the party, I will give a block to my sibs and kids as a keepsake. Thanks Martha for the inspiration.....
In other PartyMamaBerserkitude....these are flower decorations for the tea party - I have cut out LOTS of these in different pinks and they will be on the tables. Each one is filled with my mother's favourite mints.

Below, I am holding the mint package, so you can see the tag.....I think these favours are another brilliant Martha idea. The little favours are all cut out and ready - but I will wait until a few days before the party to assemble them.

Happy June dear friends........

Word of the Day - from Yesterday - Sockdolager

2010-05-28T06:50:00.000-07:00

I like new words and I am curious about the origin and usage of words. If I had KWIKN (known what I know now), I would taken my 2 years of high school Latin more seriously. Yesterday I competed in a Corporate Spelling Bee - a fundraising event to benefit One to One Literacy Programs. Each table of 10 worked as a team - once the word was read out by the moderator, the table had one minute to submit their best-guess spelling of the word. The words were challenging and everyone at the table had ideas about the best spelling. Here is one word I learned yesterday....
sock·dol·a·ger - such a mean mean word - who would think it had a "k" in it? Our table also guessed it should be spelled "dologer" .... (obviously we got this word wrong!)

I was curious about the word.....

Etymology: origin unknown
Date: circa 1830
1 : something that settles a matter : a decisive blow or answer : finisher
2 : something outstanding or exceptional

This sockdolager of a word has an unusual claim to fame in the US history. It turned out to be the cue on which John Wilkes Booth fired his shot at President Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln was watching the play "Our American Cousin" in Ford's Theater on that fateful night. His killer, Booth, an actor himself and aware of the dialog, knew the line that brought the loudest burst of laughter from the audience was:
"Well, I guess I know enough to turn you inside out, you sockdologising old man-trap."
Booth fired his gun at that precise moment to muffle the loud noise of his shot with the guffaws from the audience. Who knew?

Our team came in 2nd - only after 2 tie-breakers..... go team.......

Party Mama, gone beserk....

2010-05-26T17:36:00.000-07:00

Things are fine here in rainyland. It seems as if it has been raining for weeks - despite the odd few moments of sunshine, it still seems cool and un-summerlike here. In some ways, I am fine with that - it means that I am able to accomplish some things indoors .....accent on "some"....

I have been spending time solving problems for my mother and running errands for her. So far she is able to walk (using a walker) to get to most of her activities (except golfing and lawnbowling). We have an excellent community care nurse, who is helping us solve problems and keep my mother safe and comfortable. I applied for a disabled parking tag for when I am transporting my mother - and this has made it easier to get her in and out of the car and to get the wheelchair in and out of the car for her.

But - the main thing that has happened, is that I have turned into a Party Mama. I feel sorry for my children - when they get married (I am looking at you first-born child) I know I will be intolerably over-stimulated and involved. I will make everyone crazy. I can see the future.....

I blame most of it on my best friend Martha (Martha Stewart). When I checked her website for party ideas, I can see that I am about 50 crafts away from a perfect 90th birthday party for my mother. And hell, add the crafts to organizing the party, scanning photos, making a party video and I it is clear I am party-obsessed.

My friend Leslie designed the invitations - I will post it here so you can see how talented she is. The mint party favours (thanks, Martha) are slowly being created. In order not to get carpal tunnel before I make the other 50 various party crafts recommended by Martha, I try and cut only a few party favours every evening. My older meaner sister forbade me to get a photo booth for the party - I must admit I was sorely tempted. There is no limit to how beserk I have become.....

Here is the story of my newest Martha party (obsessed) craft..... On Easter weekend, a tree fell on our house - taking out a wooden fence as well as creating other lovely messes everywhere. A piece of 4x4 fence post was one of the victims. And....Martha just called out to me..... I can hear hear her to this day "use the wood to make wooden photo cubes"..... Easy and charming, right?

Luckily my friend Jackie's husband has a saw and most importantly, saw knowledge.....and he took the post home and made me 13 cubes.... Jackie, obviously a craft-enabler and worried about my sanity, primed the cubes......you can see the cubes here waiting for Marthinspiration....

I thought that I would make each cube the same - with 6 photos of my mother. Six photos that define and illustrate her life. See how difficult this all is? It is a monumental task - one that I took seriously. Try it..... 6 photos.....

OK - so eventually the photos were selected - but now.....this is where it got difficult. Each photo had to be the right size for the cube and I decided that each photo should be in black and white. Hmmmm.... there was only one solution - no way I could figure out how to do this task......so I did what every self-respecting old person would do - I asked a kid to do it. Thanks to the wonder of the internet, I sent the photos to my first-born in Vietnam, and within about 4 minutes, she sent them back perfectly sized and ready to go.

Next - off to Kinko's to get photo-copies and off to the art store to get the gel transfer medium.

This is Martha's way (known as attempt #1)

Her suggested method takes the image off the paper and pastes it onto the cube. It reverses the photo. You can see the image is cloudy and it was very time consuming to remove the paper from the image. I tried modifying the technique, made lots of failed efforts......

This is Krista's way (known as attempt #7) **

Attempt #7 is what I refer to as "GE" - good enough. I simply used the gel medium to glue the photo onto the cube and the applied the medium on top to seal the photo. Once I figured out the best way, I cajoled Miguel into helping me trim all the photos and I started glue-ing.... and glue-ing..... See all the things I can do when it is raining outside? There will be cubes for tables at my mother's party - and after the party I will give a cube to everyone in the family as a keepsake.

Now.....I only need to get to Martha's 49 other suggestion party crafts.....

* this is the only photo of both my parents with their three kids - yep, true
** this is a photo of my mother's three grandchildren taken a few year ago (her most prized treasures) The older kids are mine....

Paging Susan....

2010-05-07T10:29:00.000-07:00

The other day, Susan commented on my blog - I didn't know she read my blog and I was thrilled to hear from her. She and I used to play First Clarinet in our high school band. Wow - that was a long time ago. I still have my clarinet and every time I think of selling it, I can't actually bring myself to do it. Susan - if you are reading - I don't know how to reach you - please send me an email through this blog so I know how to find you. Do you still have your clarinet?

Oh - and Martha Stewart - if you are reading this blog - send me an email through this blog so we can be best friends.

What is not to love?

2010-05-07T10:01:00.000-07:00

I told you the other day about how I try to only touch paper one time. You should know that this is a goal only - rarely achieved by me in real life (like touching each photo of my mother's about 100 times in order to get the scanned and stored properly). Another character flaw is that I am cheap. Why pay for something, that I can make myself? Why pay for perfection, when I can produce an inferior product all by myself?

But today's blog isn't about me - no - it is about my mother and Miguel. I am planning for my mother's 90th birthday party and decided that every party needs a party favour. There has never been a time in my life that my mother didn't keep a full bowl of mints in her home. There was a covered decorative bowl in our living room - and the bowl contained either white Scotch mints, or some other kind of hard mint candy. When I was growing up, friends would stop in just to get a mint. My mother has always carried a little bag of mints in her purse - she offers them to people when she is playing bridge, lawn bowling, golfing - and she is known to offer them to strangers. She is never without mints in her pocket or purse. So - when I was thinking of a party favour, I knew it had to be mints.
Thanks to my best friend Martha (....Martha Stewart - she doesn't know she is my best friend, but I am pretty sure she WOULD be, if she knew me) I found a great party favour idea that requires hours and hours of cutting and assembling and I knew I was hooked. On the favour, I wanted a little gift tag - and in my cheapness I turned to old name tags that have been sitting around my office. What could be easier than printing on old name cards and then cutting each one out individually into perfect circles? And then it hit me.....ask Miguel to help me.
When I was working, Miguel was the "go to guy" for help with design and display patterns and construction. He could always be trusted to take great care in preparing design materials - he is a perfectionist. So - after printing the name tags, I asked him to help me .....and he produced a perfect template once again.

The man knows me - he made a cardboard template that not only will fit over each tag, but if you look carefully, you will see that he even marked "rhc" which means "right hand corner" so that I could place it at the exact right spot. All I need to do, is put the template over each name tag, draw a circle and then cut out carefully. See - I told you I was cheap! Considering I plan to make about 200 of these favours, I have lots of work to do. I will try and cut slowly and carefully (not like the one shown in the photo above). But you must admit, Miguel is a saint....
So - in about 200 hours (approx), I may have the favours completed. I will post a photo if I survive.
But I ask you, who knew that mints and templates could converge in a perfect Martha universe? It takes a village to make a Martha mint party favour.....

Things I have learned about Scanning....

2010-05-04T15:45:00.000-07:00

In preparation for my mother's 90th birthday party in July, I decided a long while back to put together a slide show. It seemed like a brilliant idea at the time - except for a few small problems: I don't know how to make a slide show, I don't have a scanner or really know how to scan photos, I don't know what to do with photos, I can barely find photos and I hate photos. And I am impatient....

When my mother moved into her assisted living Lodge last year, all of her photos were moved to my house in boxes. So, scanning all the photos would be an easy task, right?

I should mention that I have a basic philosophy about paper things - try to only touch it once. If there is a bill - touch it once - open it, pay it, record it, send it on.... For routine things this philosphy sometimes works. But not, it appears , when one is preparing a slide show.

First, let me entertain you with some pictures I found in my mother's boxes:
My parents (in happier times)

My mother with my older meaner sister and sweet little old me

So - back to scanning.... My friends lent me a scanner (bless them) and I got started. It never occured to me to put photos into categories at the beginning - I tried to put things in rough chronological order but when I say rough, I mean rough. There were a few minor disasters (like scanning 150 photos, which I couldn't then find on the computer - never mind - I just scanned them all again). As I was finishing up, I found an album that had lots of photos of me at my wedding and lots of my children as tiny babies. That sent me off on a new tangent - email the scanned photos to my friends and family. Then I realized that really, I should separate the actual photos - give the ones of my siblings, to said siblings. The actual photos of relatives (which don't have photos of my mother or immediate relatives) should be sent to the relatives. Photos of my children should go to them....and so on and so on....

Needless to say, the slide show isn't started yet. But today I did finish touching each photo for the one-hundredth time. I still don't know how to start or finish a slide show - but I suspect it will be accomplished as inefficiently as the photo scanning. So - if you want my advice here it is:

1. Before you start, try and put the photos into chronological order. If there is identifying information on the back of the photo (didn't happen much in my case) put that information with the photo when you save it on the computer.

2. Think about what you are going to do with the photos. If the actual photo should be distributed to someone, put the photo into a separate envelope as you go along.

3. As I went along scanning, the structure of the slide show became evident to me - I then tried to ensure I recorded my ideas so that I can refer back as I start to assemble the slide show.

4. Send the scanned photos off to friends and family. It is delightful to reconnect with those in the photos. And everyone was very tickled by how sweet and young we all once looked. Share my darlings.....share.....

5. Be prepared to be emotional - when I found photos of my father that he sent to my mother during the Second World War along with his personal loving greetings, I realized that I never really knew all of their story. When I scanned the photos of my little ones being held for the first time by their grandparents, I realized how much I miss everyone. And when I was getting frustrated by all the time I was spending trying to figure out how to scan photos, I realized that I was making it possible to connect with old friends and family and to make a living tribute for my mother.

And that my darlings, is my lesson for today........

What a difference a week makes....

2010-04-23T15:02:00.001-07:00

Last week, my mother was completely bed-ridden. She couldn't stand up or walk. After her cementoplasty - a miracle - she can walk again. There is pain when she is walking, but she can walk. After a few days to recover, she returned to her assisted living Lodge, and there has never been a happier more joyful person than my mom, knowing she could go home.

Luckily we were referred to an excellent and responsive palliative and elder care community care nurse who has been very helpful getting my mom some assistance to dress and bathe, and who will help her as her disease progresses. My mother LOVES not eating hospital food and she LOVES being out of the hospital. The goal is to keep her out of the hospital if we can.

For me, this has been a great few days of recovery. I was actually able to get some sleep, to pay bills, to see some friends and to NOT think about spending all my time at the hospital. My mother has so many friends and things to do at her Lodge, she really doesn't need me for company - and this has been a great relief.

I did manage to see "Date Night" with the Tuesday movie crowd - we all enjoyed it. Tina Fey is funny and endearing - and there were lots of very funny scenes. I had a great time every night watching Jon Stewart - his gospel choir responses to Fox News were some of the funniest things I have seen. Did I mention that I had been able to sleep at night and not wake up at 3:30 in the morning? You see......what a difference a week makes.....

Look Ma, Ma's walking......

2010-04-17T09:13:00.000-07:00

The cementoplasty finally happened on Thursday afternoon. By Friday morning my mother was standing up (for the first time in 3 weeks) and walking. She has to use a walker, but she is able to shuffle down the hall and into the bathroom. Most importantly, she is able to stand up. She will now be able to get from the bed into a wheelchair on her own - so that is a tremendous improvement. She does have pain when standing and walking - so this will have to be monitored. But it is a huge "step forward" if you know what I mean.....

The goal for this week is to get her out of the hospital. Once we have physio and occupational therapists come to evaluate her mobility and abilities, she can hopefully move back to her independent living residence (with some assistance). My mother has been classified as a palliative patient - which, unbeknownst to me, means that all her meds, equipment needs and home assistance are now completely covered by the government. There will be no huge financial burden for her care or needs. Because my mother has made it clear that she doesn't want any extra-ordinary medical intervention, the talk about DNR orders was easy and painless. For my American friends (and especially for you, Sarah Palin) there was NO DEATH PANEL.

Now - if you know my mother, this is the time you might want to bet on how she will confound and astound the medical profession. Whenever I have talked about time lines and survival rates with the doctors about my mother's Stage 4 Renal Cancer, I always have a secret thought that my mother will do her darndest to beat the odds. If anyone will confound or astound, it will be my mother.

Oh - my mother's surprise 90th birthday party in early July is back on. My sibs and kids will all be here. We will celebrate.......

Every Painting in the MoMA on 10 April 2010

2010-04-15T23:26:00.000-07:00

Just in case you can't get to New York City, here is a video of every painting in the Museum of Modern Art on 10 April 2010.

Procedure of the Day....hopefully Cementoplasty....

2010-04-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

My mother didn't get her cementoplasty yesterday - she was just getting ready for the operation when an emergency came in and she was bumped. So, if all goes well today is the day. While my mother is under general anesthetic, they will get tissue from her kidneys and bones for biopsies. That should tell us more....

Have you ever heard this: "if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans"? I have been thinking about that over the last few weeks. My family had been making plans for my mother's surprise 90th birthday party in July. Everyone has their airline tickets booked. The hall is booked. I am optimistic that we can still have the party. I have always been optimistic, but some might say I am being a little delusional.

My mother has said right from the day she heard the word "cancer" that she does not want any treatment or any unnecessary intervention. When the anesthetist met with her to discuss the upcoming surgery he asked her what she would want in the event her heart stops beating during the operation. She said she did not want to be resuscitated. Fair enough..... Yesterday I was talking to my mother about letting go.......I had this notion that if her recently deceased and beloved sister Nellie came to get her, that she should know that we would all be fine - that she could go - that we would all understand. I have no idea if this is how "it" works......but it seems like a lovely comforting notion. My mother's response was surprising.....she revealed that when she had her car accident last year, she was knocked unconscious. She believed she was dying yet she had great peace - she saw two coffins - one with her sister Nellie and one marked for her - and she knew Nellie was there to meet her. My mother is a farm girl - she grew up understanding about the cycles of life - about birth, death, rebirth. She is sensible and practical - no nonsense. I hope that Nellie comes to greet her before there is too much pain or suffering.

The Word for the Day is....

2010-04-12T18:33:00.001-07:00

Cementoplasty.... who knew that a cementy type of material can be injected into bones to make them stronger? Of course, I learn something new every day at the hospital. My mother has been in the hospital now for 17 days and we still don't have a treatment plan or even a final diagnosis. But tomorrow they are doing a cementoplasty into her hip to hopefully provide pain relief (and allow her to cut back on the morphine) and to help her maybe become more mobile. She cannot stand or walk at all - so a hoist is needed to lift her out of bed and into a wheelchair. If she can stand after this procedure, then she can get herself into a wheelchair or a commode and she will be extremely happy...extremely happy.

I have so many things to report, but I find that being at the hospital at least once a day, sometimes twice a day takes up lots of energy. I would love my sibs and my children to be here to help out, but until we know what is happening, I don't want to call on them yet. It isn't that I need "help" - really I don't - it is just that I am not sure I am always doing the right thing and the bearing all the hands-on responsibility is stressful.

A funny hospital food story. My mother has started keeping track of what food she orders each day - to see if what is delivered matches even remotely what she has ordered. For three days in a row she has ordered bran flakes for breakfast - each day she has gotten porridge. Last night's roasted chicken turned out to be slices of pork with gravy.... Sunday's ordered tuna sandwich was fritatta... Today she ordered soup and sandwich....she got a bowl of soup, a spinach salad consisting of 7 leaves of spinach and two tiny pieces of strawberry and a little packet of ketchup. If you can figure this out, let me know....

Thank you Stewart.....

2010-04-06T15:43:00.001-07:00

My older meaner sister met Stewart when she was in her teens - they were basically together (except for a few travel separations) for the next 30 years. He died suddenly about 12 years ago. I often think of Stewart chuckling when he sees the things my sister has done since his death - my sister embarking on road trips with me and Miguel, my sister taking her little niece to the Olympics, my sister buying the same lottery tickets every week with the numbers they chose together. I know my sister thinks of him often and misses him.

Stewart must have really chuckled when we helped my sister fix up her house last fall and helped her discard or redistribute stuff that had accumulated in her basement. My sister and I sorted through his tools, his household acquisitions and even some of his clothes. There was a wonderful leather jacket that needed to be saved forever....there were other things that needed to be donated. And...there was a soft, plush comfy navy blue bathrobe that Miguel decided to use when were staying at my sister's house. When we left, my sister told Miguel to take the bathrobe home.....

Are you with me so far? The story continues..... My mother has been in the hospital for the last 12 days - and she is sharing a room with two men. One man has family support - lots of visitors, lots of attention. The other man (we will call him Bob), is all alone - no one ever visits, no one ever calls. Bob is a sick man - his lungs are full of something that does not sound good, he can barely walk and he is pathetically thin and grey. The last few days he has started shivering - and he is always cold. Bob tells me that his hands and feet are freezing and I have had to get him more blankets on a number of occasions and get nurse attention for times he needs immediate assistance. Last night I figured I needed to bring Bob a sweater, some mittens and some warm socks. When I got home I had Miguel look for something that would fit easily over Bob's shoulders. And that is when it became clear - a bathrobe would be perfect....we have a bathrobe - Stewart's bathrobe. Bob needs it..... a perfect fit!

Today Bob happily donned the robe and he looked instantly much more comfortable. The socks were a hit - and I hope he might put on the mittens when he feels the bad shivers coming on.... Thank you for the gift Stewart* .... a little bit of magic....

*Stewart - now, if you could possibly work some magic and let those lottery ticket numbers finally win, we would be very grateful....

Always Set the Table a few days before.....

2010-04-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a happy Easter..... we had a big lunch at the house (planned long before cancer and tree-falling-on-house) A long time ago, I learned an important lesson from my beloved mother-in-law (the consummate entertainer). She has taught me many things, but one thing I have now adopted as my own - set the table long before the event. It is a great lesson - it means that if you need to launder placemats, tablecloths or napkins, you can do it long before the important day. You can get everything organized and have one less thing to worry about. So...I had set the table early on Good Friday. The table was set long before the tree fell on the house..... And dang it, who wants to take down a fully set and decorated table and not have a party after that? So, once the hydro came back on late Saturday, and once I knew all the food hadn't been ruined, the party was on..... My mother has never missed a party at our house - so I did feel her absence. Earlier in the week I tried to figure out how I could get her to the house - but there was no way we could have done that, and no way she was even interested in coming (a new alarming sign).... After lunch I headed to the hospital with food for my mom - and a new alarming sign has emerged....she has no appetite at all. Not even for beets, polish sausage, devilled eggs.....no appetite. A clear sign that all is not well in the world.....

Now - for some smiles...

This site has some hilarious protest signs - good for some chuckles today.

Trying not to take it personally.........

2010-04-04T19:24:00.000-07:00

It was a stressful week - my mother went from being independent and active, to being bedridden and very sick. It doesn't help that it is taking so long to get a final diagnosis. I have had to learn many things to help my mother and once again I have realized the importance of being in the hospital as much as possible to be an advocate for a patient. My mother has lost her appetite and she is needing more drugs to keep the pain away.

What else could go wrong you might ask? Well, on Friday afternoon, this happened:

A tree from our neighbour's yard, fell on our house.... I had just gotten home from the hospital and the wind had started to blow.....and then I heard a crack and a crash..... The 90 foot tree took out the fence and took out down our hydro wires....it crashed into our deck, crushed the railings and took the structural beams out. The glass privacy screens shattered and there is glass everywhere. A big mess..... It was a cold weekend and the house was very cold - when we went to put a log on the fire, the chain for the flue broke - enough bad luck already.....

The worst thing was being without electricity and dealing with insurance and hydro during a holiday weekend. Let's just put it this way - it just seemed like it was toooo much to handle. I am just trying not to take it all personally.....

Patience Patient......

2010-03-31T08:25:00.001-07:00

I am not blessed with patience. I hate waiting.... You know all those 6 hour line-ups during the Olympics (to get on a zip-line, to see the Olympic medals)? No way in hell, I would wait in such a lineup. Never....

My mother has always had patience - if there is something FREE at the end of the lineup, she will be there.

There is a lot of waiting in a hospital.....I think there is even more waiting in a hospital ward for the elderly. So we wait..... As we wait to determine what other cancer my mother might have, her pain has gotten worse. Yesterday she started to have pain all through her hips and both legs even while sitting or sleeping. That means more morphine and that means that she can't really stand up at all anymore. It means she will likely become confused and more sleepy. And it means that any faint hope of recovering mobility is sliding further away.

I do hope that there might be some final diagnosis and treatment plan by the end of the week - otherwise there will be more waiting over the Easter weekend (and I may have mentioned that I am not a patient person).

In the meantime, here are some things that indicate that my mother is not well: that she will miss Easter lunch (planned to be at our house) - she couldn't care less; that they didn't bring her a wheelchair with promised wheelchair training yesterday - she couldn't care less; that I beat her in almost every game of cards we have been playing over the last few days - she couldn't care less. Missing a party? Not learning how to drive a wheelchair? Losing at cards? She is sick......

Waiting, waiting.....and a trophy....

2010-03-29T19:33:00.000-07:00

Today started out with a trophy. My bridge partner and I were awarded a trophy for "Most Improved Players".... Of course, this victory has gone right to my head....no one can live with me now.

From this heady victory, I left to go to the hospital to see my mother. She had a bone scan today - and the results show that a biopsy of the tumors is now required. That will happen, hopefully in a day or so.... In the meantime, my mother (who can't put any weight on her right leg) will start using a wheelchair tomorrow.... I think she will be happy to just get out of bed...she will be roaring around the halls tomorrow. Hopefully by the end of the week we will know exactly what my mother is facing.... Keep your fingers crossed.....

And so we wait.... (have i mentioned i won a trophy today?)

Oh me, Oh my..... Oh Shit.....

2010-03-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

The month of February was such great fun. I loved having a full house - lots of people coming and going, sunny weather, a city celebrating the Olympics. The month of March meant some serious house-cleaning and the return of a quiet daily schedule.

Don't tell my mother, but I have been planning a surprise 90th birthday party for her in July. My sibs are scheduled to come to surprise her, my kidlets will be here.... I spent last week learning how to scan photos.....I decided to scan all the photos in her albums so that I could share the photos with my sibs and cousins. I also wanted to prepare some kind of presentation - a slide show or power point presentation for her party. I'd like to report that this scanning was problem-free and productive, but alas, the last 150 photos scanned (at least I thought I scanned them) have disappeared somewhere into my computer and I can't find them. I am thinking of calling in the big guns (or better yet, a friend who can help me out of this mess) to help me find these photos.

It was a lovely week of memories and discovery. I will post some photos when I am all finished (and can find the little f@#$kers) There are no photos of my mother until about the age of 20 - she grew up on an isolated homestead and there were no cameras. In her twenties, the photos start - she is dressed in stylish clothes with waved groomed hair. There is one photo of her wedding to my father....and then I found two photos of my father with other members of his army unit during World War II. He wrote a message to my mother on the back of both photos....one says "my unit darling". My mother kept these photos, even though her marriage ended with such acrimony....I was touched to see his words in his handwriting. A life-time of photos.... (dang I hope I can find them, or I will be scanning them all again soon!)

And then.....in the midst of all this planning and reverie.....cancer knocked at the door again. After a week of pain and immobility, after a few trips to the doctor and to the emergency room, we have learned my mother has cancer in her bones. Her hip has a pathological fracture from the cancer but the exact type and scope of the cancer is yet to be discerned. There is no doubt that everything in our lives changes. She is in the hospital now - tests are happening, she can't be ambulatory. Will she be able to return to her independent living? Probably not soon.....What kind of treatment will she face? It is too early to know that.

My mother's first words after the diagnosis? "Oh Shit".... I couldn't say it better than that......

This one is for Wendy.....

2010-03-02T21:11:00.000-08:00

When I saw this link, I had to post it for my friend Wendy......She wasn't visiting with us to watch the Olympics (speed skating or sliding events), but if she had been I know we would have had a lively discussion about the manginas displayed in the racing uniforms. This link refers to them as moose knuckles - that works for me too.....

Academy Awards.......

2010-03-02T07:16:00.000-08:00

It is Academy Awards time and I haven't seen all the nominated films..... I do need to see Hurt Locker, but I have been afraid that it will be too violent and disturbing. I didn't see Inglorious Basterds - Miguel and the boychild have warned me that I won't like it. I am looking forward to seeing Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin hosting the evening - I won't miss one moment of the broadcast. Epicurious has some suggestions for movie related food offerings for the big night. Trust me, there won't be any peppercorn-crusted Muscovy Duck with blueberries at my house that is for sure................

How will we survive?

2010-02-28T15:19:00.000-08:00

Man oh man, that was an exciting hockey game. It has been two weeks of great sports moments - most of them spent with my family (except for my first-born) and friends from far and wide. The Olympics draw to a close in a few hours and I have learned a few important things:

1. With all the company in the house, I realized that I had forgotten how to properly provision for guests. Every day I ran out of something - eggs, milk, butter. I purchased two-percent milk, only to find that my guests really only like skim milk - we never had enough coffee cream - and when everyone wanted sandwiches, I realized there was no bread. It seems like I needed to go to the grocery store everyday (despite having done a major Costco shop). I am out of practice when it comes to feeding more than two of us!

2. Cupcakes are always a winner. I made a few batches of cupcakes early in February and froze them without frosting. If company was expected - I just whipped out some cupcakes and made some butter icing. I would add on some small Canadian flags and - voila - instant happiness. Cupcake win.......

3. It has been fun having my older meaner sister here throughout the games. She has helped me shop, cook, clean-up more times than you could imagine. She also managed to find ways to use up leftovers (which mostly involved pulling out small containers from the back of the fridge) and could always be found unloading the dishwasher (again and again)....

4. Having the Olympics in our hometown was more fun that I would have ever imagined. Not only did it mean that we had visitors, but the city was more exciting and more exuberant than I would ever have imagined. It didn't hurt that for most of the time the weather was sunny, bright and warm. Nothing says Winter Olympics more than settling in to watch events after a walk on the beach!

5. Everyone in Vancouver will miss the Olympics. It has been a great few weeks, even if we had not won a record number of medals for our country. My only hope is that the crowds streaming into downtown tonight (after the hockey victory) will be sensible and restrained (the boy is down there celebrating).

OK....time to watch the closing ceremonies. Then, back to normal tomorrow (I promise)..........

Canadian, eh.....

2010-02-25T12:03:00.000-08:00

Here is a snappy little video that I think you will enjoy.

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I am an Olympic Enabler....

2010-02-24T21:53:00.000-08:00

Yes, sad but true.....I have realized that I am an Olympic Enabler. Today when I drove my sister and my 12 year old niece through the rain to catch the bus to to see the Giant Slalom at Whistler (6 a.m. don't ya know), I felt great happiness that I wasn't going. I have had company in the house since the Olympics started - I have enjoyed driving to and from bus links, dropping people off at the venues....I have shopped for groceries, cooked breakfasts, lunches and dinners....I have rounded up warm or water-proof clothes as needed....I have packed lunches, bought books of bus tickets, sorted through maps and instructions. I have enabled.....

Yesterday I decided that Miguel and I should actually ATTEND an event - it is one thing to hear all about the long line ups for transportation and bathrooms, but we needed to experience it ourselves. So off we went to see the 10,000m speed skating at the Richmond Skating Oval. I guess I should admit that I dragged Miguel along - but once we got there, he said those words "you were right, Krista"....and I WAS right.....we did enjoy ourselves and it was worth going. We enjoyed seeing all the Dutch skating fanatics supporting their excellent skaters. The crowd was buoyant and happy - cheering all the skaters through their grueling performance. There was a lot of drama - Kramer, the Dutch skater with his Olympic record time was disqualified for using the wrong lane - it was heartbreaking to watch.

I have loved every minute of the Olympics - I have enjoyed having a house full of friends and family. I have loved that there were tickets for them to use - and I am happy that I was able to help them get to events and navigate the city. I am a true Olympic enabler.....

2010-02-21T14:28:00.000-08:00

Another few spring-like gorgeous sunny days in Vancouver. The city continues to be exuberantly happy - and almost everyone I know is watching more sports on television than they would ever watch in a year! Today, a hockey game between the United States and Canada - party, party, party. Try NOT to watch it if you are anywhere in Canada......

Here is a little clip by Tom Brokaw explaining Canada ....
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Tiger Woods, Olympics, Sunshine.....

2010-02-19T08:14:00.000-08:00

You probably are expecting me to write about Tiger Woods' apology this morning, aren't ya? I'm just watching him embrace his mother at the end - now he is shaking hands with people and walking out......just walking out......he had his 14 minute statement (I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm the only person to blame)....and just walked out. I guess I am blogging about it.....my one point....how does he get away with setting the rules about his press conference (no questions)? What journalist would sit through that? Don't you think that he had practiced his statement (including looking at the audience at crucial times)? Doesn't that bug ya?

OK - back to the Olympics. The weather here in Vancouver is glorious - the sun has been shining and everyone is in a festive and exuberant mood. My poor Toronto friends who attended events on the rainiest, wettest, foggiest and coldest of conditions, still had great fun. But it must be much more fun for spectators now that the weather is better. If you want to purchase the pants worn by the Norwegian Curlers, here is a fun article that will point you to the way to do so....

Miguel's grandson arrived last night....my second born arrives this afternoon. Tomorrow my 12 year old neice arrives....lots of events for everyone to see in the next week.
Speaking of other things that bug me (other than Tiger Woods' apology this morning), when I am switching television channels for Olympic coverage I can't help but ask this question "how the heck* did Jenna Bush get to be a televison correspondent for the Today Show"? Can you explain that to me please......

*not quite the word I would use in real life.....

The Olympics.....

2010-02-14T10:50:00.000-08:00

We have a friend and her daughter here now and they attended Men's Speed Skating yesterday. I was able to drive them quite close to the Skating Oval and they report that getting through security was painless (they were in line for less than 15 minutes) and they were able to get onto the Canada Line to come home after the event with relative ease. They thought the event was great fun - and well organized (except for opening day glitches with unprepared concession employees). Today they are off to Nordic events at Whistler.

We all watched the opening ceremonies together.....my likes included: kd lang (beautiful), special effects including the whales swimming under the stage, the totems/forest, flying through the prairies, the exuberance and enthusiasm of the first nation dancers, the poet, the parade of nations..... My "didn't likes" included: having a soloist singing the national anthem (everyone should have been singing it!), the overly long fiddling/dancing/musical portions and the dang technology problems. It made perfect sense to this Canadian that a team of talented athletes would light the cauldron - each of the athletes alone could have been an excellent choice, but together they are a magnificent representation of the best of Canadian sport. And having a committee light the cauldron is a typically Canadian choice.....

My American friends have not seen this video featuring the young woman who sang the Canadian national anthem.....so I am posting it here for you to watch. There are two versions. This one:
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and then this version that shows the olympic torch relay that crossed the country.

Opening Day of the Olympics

2010-02-12T07:08:00.000-08:00

We have put up some flags at the front of the house - and purchased a few (ok, more than a few) cases of Molson's Canadian ..... We are ready.....let the Olympics begin. Here is how we have decorated the front porch......

My older meaner sister arrived a week or so ago, and we have been getting ready for Olympic visitors that start arriving today. We just watched Arnold Schwarzenegger carry the Olympic torch....all day coverage has started.

In the midst of all the excitement, some bad sad news for Miguel. His older brother passed away early this week. Miguel tried to get to the east coast for the funeral, but given all the bad snowstorms he couldn't get a there in time.... Miguel had a chance to have a good visit with his brother when we were on our roadtrip in the autumn - I'm not sure Miguel ever considered it would be their last earthly visit, but again it reminds me once again to never miss an opportunity to visit or connect with loved ones.

Getting Ready for the Olympics.....

2010-01-29T20:58:00.000-08:00

Here is a good video about British Columbia as it gets ready for the Olympics.
It is hard to believe that the city will soon be filled with athletes and visitors - most residents are pretty certain that daily routines will be disrupted - that it will be difficult to get around the city. It is also hard to believe that these are the Winter Olympics. In the city there are camellias, primulas and hellebores in bloom. Some cherry trees are starting to flower, the bright yellow forsythias are breaking out....and the snowdrops have sprouted.

My older meaner sister arrives this weekend - she will stay through the Olympics....my niece and my secondborn, son and heir will arrive in mid-February. Friends are coming into town .... hopefully the house will be hopping. Are you coming?

Thought you might like this.....

2010-01-16T12:07:00.000-08:00

From the great insightful mind of Indexed.

I would like to tell you that I have been so busy and productive for the last few days, that I just haven't had time to blog. But that would be a huge fib. It has been raining like the dickens here for days. I have kept busy with friends, family and bridge, and some small amount of house-cleaning - but the truth be told is that there has been nothing of any interest to report to you. My big plan for cleaning out the house? Hasn't happened..... I did buy some extra storage bins - so that might count.

I have seen a few movies: Young Victoria (worth seeing) and Nine (much better than I expected - very intriguing and interesting in fact). This week Miguel made chicken as well as cheese enchiladas - lots of them for Olympics guests that will be visiting. I made yogurt in my crockpot for the first time ever (big perfect win) and I started to plan for my mother's 90th birthday this year (shhhhh....don't tell her).

I have been playing bridge with an inconsistency not heretofore known to mortal man - some days we are contenders, the next day the bottom of the heap. The thrill of victory and the agony of the defeat (over and over again). I am not sure if it is the rain or the ignominy of bridge that is making the days seem so dark and hopeless. I will continue to blame the rain though......

01.02.2010 - Gotta love a Palindrome....

2010-01-02T17:59:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a happy new year and I hope that everyone is enjoying a nice quiet weekend. Hard to believe the holiday season is almost over - life gets back to normal on Monday. If anyone happens to know of a magical Christmas decoration-deconstrucion elf, please let me know. There is really never a problem hauling out the decorations, putting them out lovingly around the house, rediscovering precious sentimental Christmas ornaments, decking the halls.....but taking it all down and putting it away - that is another matter. I just wish everything would disappear into nicely packaged and labelled boxes in a corner of the basement. Oh, and if the magical elf could dust and vacuum and clean up everything too that would certainly be a big bonus.

We had a lovely new year`s eve with friends - we decided to dust off fondue pots and try a complete fondue meal. Everyone prepared part of the meal - it was quite delicious and fun. Cheese, meat, seafood, vegetables, bread.....followed by chocolate fondue. What better way to ring in a new year and a new decade.

If you DO find the magical de-Christmasing elf, please let me know.

A Decade to Consider....

2009-12-31T14:35:00.000-08:00

It doesn't seem that long ago that we were getting ready for the change from 1999 to 2000. I remember people talking about provisioning and organizing for some of the bad things that were supposed to happen as we moved into a new millennium. It seems like 10 years has gone by very quickly.........

Ten years ago, my children were only 12 and 16.....such youngsters. Now they have both finished under-graduate degrees and are finding their way as young adults. I am sure that what they have done or accomplished in the last 10 years would take hours to report (and much of what they have done, I am NOT interested in knowing about thank you very much).

Ten years ago my mother was independent and capable - a few months ago it was clear that she needed to live with assistance. She is still healthy and active - but things have changed. Ten years ago my father was alive.....Ten years ago, Miguel's youngest daughter Mandy was alive - she passed away a few years ago after her too short and challenged life.

Ten years ago both of my children were living here at home and my every day life revolved around their activities and needs. Now they live far away and their visits are always too brief and too infrequent.

Ten years ago I really hadn't had to face losing friends and family from illness - that changed when dear friends and loved ones got cancer. Miguel, Cheri, Keith all have come through the other end of treatment......my friend Kilby didn't make it, although she fought a long hard fight.

Ten years ago I had a busy working life. I was traveling a lot and our office was humming. Two years ago when Miguel got sick I stopped working so we could move to Kansas - and I have never gotten back to work since then.

See what I mean? So many things have changed in 10 years....for me and I know that so many things have changed for you too. Today just seemed like a good day to think about it all.....

Happy New Year to all........see you in 2010.

2009 in Review......

2009-12-28T07:53:00.001-08:00

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Christmas - it came, it went.....

2009-12-27T12:13:00.000-08:00

How could the holidays be over already? The anticipation for the holidays was great for me - I baked, I decorated, I provisioned, I made plans. The children arrived.....we ate, we laughed, we visited with friends and family.....and I even took a photo of the kidlets:

There was a "no present" policy in place - so i didn't have to do any real shopping - just a few little things ..... very very pleasant .....
My mother, now living in an assisted living facility had a busy social life around the holidays - lots of nice activities and special meals - so she was occupied and happy.
We had a lovely time with family and friends.....and one of my friends got engaged, so there was even more celebration.
And.....just like that.....the holidays are winding down......my first-born left this morning (after a 2.5 hour security line at the airport for her slight into the US)....the second-born leaves tomorrow (but not on an international flight)..... Christmas 2009, finished......
Happy Holidays everyone.........

Who selected these URLs?

2009-12-18T08:41:00.000-08:00

Some URLs are sillier than others. This article compiled the worst domain names:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company - www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Look Ma.....Olympic Tickets....

2009-12-16T14:46:00.000-08:00

Our Olympic tickets arrived today - here is what some of them look like. There was a lottery for tickets and although 5 of our family members applied for tickets, only 2 of us got some (and we didn't even get all that we requested). I only got 2 tickets for each event - so we can't go in a group. We have probably more tickets than we want for Whistler events, and less tickets than we want for local venues - and if you can believe it, we didn't get any curling tickets! Just shows you what I know.....

The book of rules for attending the events also arrived - no parking of any cars will be allowed at venues (each time you attend an event outside the city (the downhill events, the nordic events, the sliding events, the snowboarding events) you will need to buy a bus ticket and go to a hub to catch that bus; no outside food or drink of any kind will be permitted at the venues (get ready to buy everything at the venue); bring your VISA card, because that is the only card that will be accepted for payment and for access to ATMs.......

Mind you.....I am more excited about my offspring arriving home this weekend though than the arrival of the Olympic tickets.

At Tuesday movies this week we saw Invictus. Clint Eastwood did a great job making the story compelling and exciting. Matt Damon - swoon - was terrific as was Morgan Freeman. A definite "Go See" from me.........

No Snow......life is good.......

2009-12-15T09:43:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I bought a snow shovel in anticipation of the snow. We were supposed to get a good dump of snow - but - yippeee, the temperatures stayed high enough so no snow fell. Now that is very good luck.....

I have been busy thinking about Christmas - a little bit of doing, but a lot of thinking. A little bit of baking - some shortbreads (at my request of my first-born), some brownies (for the second-born) and some biscotti (for Miguel).... Christmas lights outside (with only a bit of fighting as Miguel and I debated the best way to put them up) and decorations pulled up from the basement. We even have a tree (a little more fighting) in the house all ready to be decorated when the offspring come home this weekend. Don't tell my first-born that I am going to make her some spinach pies this morning - it is a secret......

Shopping? hmmmmm ...... what shopping...... It will be an "almost present-less" holiday - but I will need to get a few things. I haven't really been in the stores yet, but I do have a new snow shovel that someone might like.

Olympic preparations are in high-gear here in the Vancouver. Signs limiting and prohibiting parking or stopping on major roads have been posted. Volunteers are getting excited as they finish their training. Everyone is watching the weather. I have some guests coming - hopefully there will be enough beds for everyone.

Insert your own Tiger Woods/golfing joke here

2009-12-13T10:54:00.000-08:00

Any follower of my blog knows how I feel about cheating spouses. The fact that one can cheat, doesn't mean one should cheat. I agree with Rachel Maddow, that what one does in their private life is their own business except .......except.... when there is base hypocrisy. When conservative or anti-gay proponents get caught, then their hypocrisy deserves to be exposed. When politicans try to capitalize on their family values - boom - expose the hypocrisy. So what to say about Tiger?

The New York Post reports today that taking a year away from golf will cost Tiger Woods $180 million in lost endorsements, tournament winnings and appearance fees -- about $15 million per floozy. At Christmas parties last night, Tiger-talk was ubiquitous - a great conversation piece for men and women alike. The media must have known about Tiger's behaviour for years - fellow golfers too.... Would this be public if he hadn't try to leave his home and crashed his car?

The quantity and quality of his dalliances is monumental for a man married only 4 years. Watching how many women are trying to capitalize on their affairs is pathetic and don't get me started on how cheating with married men is a feminist issue.... I feel sorry for Tiger's wife and family - his foibles were his own private business, but man oh man, is this gonna cost him.

Sunday Crazies......

2009-12-13T09:23:00.000-08:00

Here are some of the craziest celebrity photos of the past year.

Newspaperless?

2009-12-07T20:15:00.001-08:00

When we left on our latest road trip, I suspended newspaper delivery. I have always loved newspapers - I have always started the day drinking coffee and reading the papers. My daily morning routine was simple - make the coffee, read the papers - weekdays, two papers: a national paper and a local paper. On Fridays and Saturdays: add one more national newspaper. And on Sundays - the New York Times. That is a lot of paper - probably a foot high each week goes into our recycling bin. Weekdays, reading the newspapers takes almost an hour. On Saturday morning, probably 2 hours of reading (three papers). And Sunday? well - a leisurely read through the New York Times and attacking the crossword can take all morning (and probably 3 cups of coffee).

I believe in the power of newspapers - that independent reporting is needed to keep us all informed, aware and honest. I enjoy the touch and feel of real paper. I enjoy reading and thinking about issues.

But - and here is the big BUT - I hate the wastefulness of all that paper. Without newspapers, I do have more time in the mornings - but I find that I instead surf the net for news. I miss the births and deaths column.....the movie reviews....the book reviews....the sudokus, the kenkens, the jumbles, the crosswords.....

I have been home now for 3 weeks and I still haven't reinstituted my subscriptions. I am not sure how much money I save by not having newspapers, but I know that the cost isn't what is really stopping me. If I am not buying newspapers, who is?

Precious.....

2009-12-05T10:20:00.001-08:00

While on our ten-week cross-country road trip I didn't see one movie. Imagine that.... But now I'm home and it is a treat to get back to the cinema. Well, not a treat to see the movie Precious - but it is a movie that I highly recommend.

The title character, Precious is a composite character made up of various young women known by the author. Precious' life has been a horror story - she has been abused in distinct and different demonic ways by both her mother and her father. Abuse that is intolerable. She is trapped by her age, her race, her status, her education, her history and by society. The hopelessness of her life will leave you stunned - there is no fairy-tale ending for Precious. Don't dismiss the movie as a bad downer. The performances are wonderful and you will be grateful for the lessons that Precious can teach us all......

The Swine Flu (redux).........

2009-11-29T09:32:00.001-08:00

The swine flu visited me again this week so I have neglected everything (including blogging) this week. Check out this site for some great Simpson's chalkboard gags.......

While sitting around coughing at home, keeping far away from family and friends, I have been thinking about Christmas - not about shopping (which I detest), but planning for decking out the house and provisioning for the holiday season. Thinking and planning mind you, not doing......

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving weekend (where applicable)......

November in Vancouver

2009-11-20T13:47:00.001-08:00

While we were on the road we had quite excellent sunny weather. When we left to drive back to Vancouver in early November we drove south and encountered warm, sunny weather the whole way back. We spent a few days in Palm Springs and got a chance to sit outside to eat, sit by the pool and feel the sun. We arrived back into Vancouver in the middle of November - and man, oh man, is it dark and dreary here. That is November in Vancouver - rain, rain and more rain.

The rain won't last (although it could continue for another 3 weeks or so!)......

It has taken a few days to get back into the swing of things here. The cat (who was taken care of by our young neighbour) managed to throw up at least 10 times throughout our house while we were away (and in every case, ON a carpet). There seems to have been some kind of liquid accident (on a carpet) but other than that, no other bad problems. I have had to learn how to shop for groceries and cook again.....and paying bills and sorting through mail takes a long time.

I am also for the first time in many years in the Christmas mode......both kids will be home for the holidays and I feel inspired to haul out the decorations and deck the halls. Somehow I also think that the time is coming to sell the house, so as this could be the last holiday in the house, I am ready for the challenge...... I am striving to have another "no presents" Christmas - not sure I can prevail, but I will try and convince the children that a decorated house is present enough......any chance of that working?

After all is said and done.......

2009-11-18T12:01:00.000-08:00

We have arrived back home after being away for 10 weeks.....travelling a total of 8,928 miles (14,880 kms)..... We travelled from the Pacific Coast, through the northern United States to Toronto..... We worked at my older meaner sister's house for over three weeks, helping her with repairs and stuff-dispersal....We had Thanksgiving at my brother's home (the first time we have all been together in over 40 years)......We got to visit the islands of Georgian Bay....We got to tour the vineyards and charming town of Niagara on the Lake....We got to see the gorgeous fall foliage of New England....We toodled through charming towns in Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine....and we got to walk along the beaches of the Atlantic Ocean and enjoy the delicious foods and sights of Oqunquit, Maine.....

And if that wasn't enough, we had a very nice visit with Miguel's children and grandchildren in Kansas and we had a few lovely days of warmth and sunshine in California before returning to the November rains of Vancouver.

The trip could not have been more perfect - well, except for me getting the swine flu while in Maine. But even with the swine flu (or at least that is what I think I had) it was the most marvellous of trips. The places we visited were so very interesting...but the main thing was having the time to reconnect with many friends. It really was a "homecoming" trip - Miguel got to visit with his brother and every member of his family. I got to spend time with old friends - really spend time with them. Miguel, who hasn't been back to Toronto as many times as I have over the years, got to really spend time with my friends. We felt useful (working at my sister's house)...we felt pampered (friends taking us to Maine, others to their cottage, others to vineyards!)....we felt loved (friends and family taking care of me when I was sick)... we felt very blessed to have made the trip and to have arrived home safely and soundly.......

Speaking of which.........after driving all those miles, today the car battery died....... we travelled all those miles with no car problems, and today the battery dies......I say file that under "we are lucky buggers"........

For all the wonderful times we had, the times we spent with friends and family..... to have travelled safe and soundly ......we ARE lucky buggers.........

More Thanksgiving Thoughts.....

2009-10-10T06:28:00.000-07:00

My 89 year old mother arrived safely from Vancouver yesterday and we took the long tortuous drive through fog, rain and long weekend traffic congestion to arrive safely at my brother's home.

Last year in California (in the Olive Capital) I purchased a jar of muffaletta olive and vegetable mix. Yesterday morning, I assembled my first muffaletta. After arriving at my brother's home for dinner, I meant to take a photo, but we all scarfed the muffaletta down before I could act! The mix had lots of olives and pickled vegetables - I thought it was a little too salty and oily, so I drained it very well all morning. I had roasted some red peppers a day before and stored them in balsamic vinegar. I drained the red peppers and added the olive mix and added lots of oregano.....From the farmer's market in Hamilton I purchased sliced meats and provolone cheese and two large round Italian loaves.......and.....presto - a muffaletta.....

But that isn't what I wanted to write about today......I wanted to tell you that Miguel is now a Permanent Canadian Resident. After being together for 12 years, we decided to take action a few months ago....It took us days (weeks) to get all the documents prepared - Miguel had to list everywhere he has lived or worked since he was 18 years old. Considering that Miguel was in the airforce and was stationed in at least 8 or 9 states, that added to paperwork. Once the paperwork was completed, we waited.....waited.....

A month or so again we learned that we had to attend an Immigration Interview - and that made little old worrier me, even more worried-er... On October 2nd, we drove to Detroit (that is where one goes for Immigration Interviews) and both Miguel and I were grilled on why it has taken us this long to apply, why we had never married, what we had been doing sitting idly all these years (and other questions).....and at the end....presto - not a muffaletta, but Permanent Residency in Canada for Miguel!

What does this mean? It means that we never have to worry about what to do if Miguel gets sick again.....it means that we can stay together without worrying.....it means that crossing the border will be easier.... If we had known we would be so elated when this process was completed, we would have done it much earlier.... On this Thanksgiving weekend, it is one huge thing that we are thankful for.......

Thanksgiving.....

2009-10-09T05:16:00.001-07:00

This is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. Not the same kind of family reunion time as the American holiday, but a time to stuff the turkey and eat pumpkin pie. The fact that our family is going to be together (except for my first-born) for the first time in probably 40 years is quite a remarkable feat.

I haven't been blogging, mainly because I haven't had reliable internet connections and I failed to get a word-processing program on the new laptop. I can't figure out how I could blog from the blackberry, so things are quiet on the quidnuncblogging front.

But - the things we have seen, the places we have been, the people we have enjoyed over the last few weeks have been amazing. We have mostly been centred at my older meaner sister's home - helping her paint, clean, repair and purge junk from her home. But we have spent lots of time visiting with friends - we spent a weekend at Georgian Bay with my friend Cheri (who I have known since I was 7 years old)...we had brunch with two highschool friends, we shared Rosh Hashanah dinner with two sets of friends from law school and their families, we toured vineyards in Niagara on the Lake with two dear law school friends (and had a terrific brunch at Hillebrand Vineyards), we had a second delicious Rosh Hashanah dinner with my friend Wendy and her family, I got to catch up with my old neighbour from Vancouver who has moved to the Niagara region, I spent an afternoon at the spa with my sister and her adorable friend Jan (pedicure and manicure, don't ya know). Our lives have been rich here in Ontario......

Today my mother flies in and we will head up to my brother's home for Thanksgiving weekend. My mother is 89, so this is a big trip for her. I coerced my older meaner sister into making cabbage rolls for the weekend (we always had them on special occasions when we were young) and we will take them to my brother's house. Even the idea that we could plan such a Thanksgiving and all be together makes me happy. We are lucky to have this chance to be together. It will be busy and noisy and undoubtedly frustrating - but we are blessed to have the opportunity - and for that I will give thanks.....

Have a great weekend my Canadian friends.

Sunday in Toronto.....

2009-09-20T07:11:00.000-07:00

Yes, we made it......we drove through the Northern United States and have arrived safely in Toronto. Just in time for Swine Flu..... On the road we have encountered many people in public places and now we are in Toronto we find that many friends or their children have had Swine Flu.... Everyone swears they are not infectious anymore.... I'm counting on that.....

The road trip was quite wonderful. Except for a day of rain in Washington State, we had sunshine everywhere else we traveled. I had a huge case of bloggingresistance on my trip. We weren't always able to get free wireless and we often had long days and I was just too pooped to be communicative. Those are my excuses and I am sticking with them....

In my mind, one theme reappeared throughout the road trip - vision. My first overwhelming state of awe of someone`s vision was when we arrived in Yellowstone National Park. Yellowstone is a huge expanse of land, the first National Park in the world. Someone thought that this spectacular landscape should be saved - someone had the vision. Many years later, we were able to see bison roaming (and even crossing the road in front of us), other abundant wildlife, spooky and smelly sulphur spurts and the scariest terrain and roads through canyons and cliffs. Vision - someone had vision to think that this park needed to be created for all people.......

Then another outstanding example of vision - Mount Rushmore. I know that if I had been a common citizen in South Dakota in the 1920`s I would have thought that creating a monument from the natural beauty of the Black Hills was the stupidest, most wasteful use of money I could ever envision. But....someone had a vision. Local labourers worked tirelessly and fearlessly to chip away the mountains....the architect spent all his last days trying to finish the project...and an impressive monument was created. Don`t get me wrong - the surrounding area is a mess of schlocky attractions - but the creation of Mount Rushmore helped the economy of the community and it has attracted many from all over the United States. And even cynical, no-vision me realized that creating Mount Rushmore was worth it.

So there you have it - outstanding examples of what happened when citizens of the United States had great vision. I was in awe....... AND THEN.....WHOAAAA..... REALITY CHECK COMING UP..... throughout our trip we were caught in the small-minded fight about universal medical care. We couldn`t avoid the news and the discussions - we couldn`t avoid seeing the crazies.... The funny part is that the US isn`t in the forefront here - it is the last first-world developed country to adopt universal medical care. Who could possibly deny every citizen the right to get medical care without financial ruin. I had a few heated discussions with Americans on my travels - people who had only heard terrible things about Canadian health care. I met the most suspicious and racist of citizens. In South Dakota we saw a bumper sticker:

I will keep my money, my guns and my freedoms - you can keep the `change`

Yep - no vision was anywhere in sight.

Rapid City......

2009-09-08T21:27:00.000-07:00

Yes, there is a Rapid City in South Dakota. We have traveled through Montana, Wyoming and have arrived in Rapid City. Tomorrow we head to Mt. Rushmore. We have seen beautiful scenery, charming places......and I will write tomorrow and tell you all about them.............
Yes, I will................

Never blog while tipsy.....

2009-09-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

That should be a rule - but I have always been one to question rules.....
Today was my birthday....I should mention that all day long I worried that I might succumb to senior citizen specials again.....the siren call, the siren call....... I am mightily ashamed of yesterday's breakfast special....it only saved me $1.40 cents, but it made me feel 20 years older.......
And today I am one year older....56 years old.....
After a day of rain and mountains and slippery roads today was a day of....rain and mountains and slippery roads. My sister and Miguel bought me a blueberry muffin complete with birthday candle this morning....and after hotel room coffee, we headed out from Spokane....
Even though it was raining, we loved driving throught Idaho - Coeur d`Alene is a lovely city and the countryside was stunning through Idaho even though there was an occasional hydro-plane event. We moved into Montana and when we passed over the Continental Divide I was giddy with excitement. I love the idea of the Continental Divide....now we are really moving eastward......
We had a few stops throughout the day and have ended up in Livingston, Montana... Jeff Bridges, Meg Ryan, Whoopie Goldberg all have ranches near Livingston. Here is a fun fact about Livingston.....if, after driving all day and ending up at Montana`s Rib and Chop House for a great dinner, and after consuming a 27 ounce Margarita (it is my birthday after all), the waiter will offer you a margarita to go.....yes, this is true..... and so, in margaritahaze, I tell you that I love Livingston.... I love Montana....what a country!

Grape Jelly Across America and Special Senior Citizen Discounts....

2009-09-05T20:55:00.001-07:00

Today was the official start of our Road Trip. We woke to unsettled weather and as we pulled away from home, the rain started. We drove south to Seattle and then turned to the east to head across the country. As we started to climb up the Snoqualmie Pass the rain turned into a downpour....thick heavy rain that made the road slick and slippery....A bad start to a road trip if you ask me......

And as we passed over the summit and headed down, the sun started to shine and the highway was dry.....and the rain was over. And then something momentous happened....we decided to stop for a very late breakfast (and some much needed coffee)....and the menu included special items for "Those 55 and over"......and by golly, didn't we order from that menu. Yes, I did it - I ordered from that menu....

Now to the full, plain, true disclosure part - I am 55....but I have never actually considered I am eligible in fact or in spirit for a senior citizen discount. What next? Early bird specials?

And so we drove on, fortified by our breakfast deal.....over the Columbia River and through the valley......

Road Trips and Plum Tortes....somehow they are connected.....

2009-09-04T16:43:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow Miguel and I (along with my older meaner sister who is in charge of the itinerary) are leaving for Road Trip 2009........ This will be our third road trip together........ This year we have cross-country plans - plans for being bi-coastal........it is a big mother of a road trip.

There is a mission statement for Road Trip 2009 - well, not really a mission statement - but we do have some objectives:

1. Help my sister repair and renovate her home

2. Visit with friends and family in Ontario

3. Satisfy my urge to visit some great American landmarks - Yellowstone, Mt. Rushmore....and Ogunquit, Maine

So tomorrow we embark........heading south a few hours and then turning left to drive through Washington State. I have my shiny new laptop and I will be bloggin........

But before I leave I had to say goodbye - my mother (who is complaining bitterly about me abandoning her) and my ex-inlaws came for lunch..........and what better time than to make a Plum Torte. Now this is not a recipe blog - there are too many great cooking blogs out there. But I have to share with you a beloved Plum Torte recipe. Ida was the grandmother of my ex-husband. She was an opinionated, lively, alert and spunky friend. I greatly enjoyed her company and I enjoyed being with her..... I admired her because she kept a youthful outlook all through her life - she liked young people and new ideas. Imagine me, a grand-daughter of Polish immigrants marrying into a family of.....you got it....Polish immigrants...... Imagine me inheriting a delicious Plum Torte recipe..... No wonder I adored her......This was one of her recipes - and every fall I make it and think about her fondly. It is so simple .........

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.......

Cream together:
1/2 cup butter (softened)
1 cup sugar

Then with mixer on, add in:
2 eggs

When you have mixed in the eggs and things are smooth, add in:
1 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt

You will have a thick batter - spread the batter into a greased pan (I like to use a spring form round)
Press prune plums that have been cut into half into the batter. Keep the cut sides down......
Sprinkle the top with sugar

This is what your unbaked Torte will look like:

Bake for 50 to 60 minutes at 350 degrees......when cool you can remove the cake from the pan. See how delicious it looks??

It is perfect with slightly sweetened fresh whipped cream or with ice cream......
Luckily there is some plum torte left for breakfast tomorrow morning as we head out on Road Trip 2009.........if you see us driving by, please wave.....

Some Words are more rudimentary than others.....

2009-09-04T16:40:00.000-07:00

Word of the Day

abecedarian \ay-bee-see-DAIR-ee-uhn\, noun:

1. One who is learning the alphabet; hence, a beginner.
2. One engaged in teaching the alphabet.
3. Pertaining to the letters of the alphabet.
4. Arranged alphabetically.
5. Rudimentary; elementary.

The approach may seem abecedarian today, but his was among the first endeavors of the sort.-- Jennifer Liese, "May 1973", ArtForum, May 2003

Abecedarian derives from Latin abecedarius, from the first four letters of the alphabet. Never heard of this word, never used it.....likely will never use it...... although......it might be easy to remember.......

Changes......

2009-08-29T21:56:00.000-07:00

As the end of the month approaches and the weather subtly turns from summer into autumn, the changes of the season are upon us. I picked up some school supplies for my friends' primary school children that I adore and it struck me that for the first time in 21 years I do not have a child starting school. No school supplies to purchase, no schedules to consider.....no tuition to be paid, no housing arrangements to be made. No one in our household needs school supplies....imagine that! I do suspect my young'uns may eventually head back to school someday - but for now it is a strange thing to realize they are finished university.

My thoughts this week were with my friend Kilby's family. Her children are the same ages as mine - and I kept thinking about how Kilby would have given anything to stay on this earth to see the marriage of her children (someday) and the birth of grandchildren (someday). The memorial service yesterday was so very sad and moving. Her children and husband were bereft and her friends and colleagues were heartbroken. After the memorial service, I was struck by an overwhelming cloud that made me realize how much I miss my children - they live so far away. I fear they will never live close enough to satisfy my selfish motherly overbearing bossy desires......

A friend of my daughter came to visit this morning....she brought news of children on the move - some of my daughter's school friends who recently got married, some who are moving away for new opportunities, some who are starting new studies. More changes......

What is an empty-nester of non-newschoolyear-starting children to do?

Things to think about.........

2009-08-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

We are making lists of things to do for our upcoming road trip. The usual things - stopping newspapers, making arrangements for the cat (anyone interested in boarding a cat?), making sure my mother will survive without us....the usual........

But always on my mind for the last few days is the recent death of my friend Kilby. I have a friend who once said that "everyone I ever met, I met when my child was in pre-school" That is the case with Kilby..... Some years we saw each other frequently, some years less frequently. She recruited me to serve on some volunteer boards, we gossiped at lunches, we met up if we happened to be on holiday at the same time, we met at political events, we organized fundraising events, we compared notes about our children........ She fought a battle with mantle cell leukemia six years ago.....she was doing so well until a recurrence last year.... and then, very quickly a few weeks ago, the cancer just started to beat her.

Kilby was a good support when Miguel went through his cancer treatments a few years ago. I appreciated her helpful words. She never seemed to lose her vigour and energy for life - and even when I saw her a week or so before she died, she had great optimism that she could beat the cancer - talking about applying for her Nexus immigration card (to make travel to the US easier) and her autumn travel plans.

What does this all mean? How does this happen? I know that you know what I mean - and I know that some of you know some answers.....and I know that some of you have even more questions.......

The middle of August.....how could that be??

2009-08-18T22:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is already past the middle of August. Early August brought my only niece (aged 11) to visit. My older meaner sister flew with my niece into Seattle (long story - but it involves a "free ticket" - you know....the kind that ends up costing 3 times the face value and a whole lot of complications) I drove down to meet them and we had a day to visit the city. It was my niece's first solo trip to Vancouver - we all thought it was important for her to spend some time with my mother. It was a hoot seeing my mother (stubborn) and my niece (stubborn) face off against each other.

My niece has now gone home and my older meaner sister is here with us for a few weeks. We do have a road trip planned for September - more on that later. I can tell you that it involves visiting new (to us) States, a visit to see the Chicago Cubs (and Miguel's brother and grandson), and visiting friends. There may even be a "road trip within a road trip" with my friend Wendy..... life is good....

Before the road trip though, a new laptop was mandated. My desktop is the slowest piece of crap on earth and I couldn't leave on a trip without a laptop.....so....thanks to Dell I now have a new toy. A black laptop - no fancy colours for me. But now I can blog, play online bridge and catch up on the news... Miguel can keep up with the Cubs....life is grand, ain't it.....

Did I mention that I enjoyed Julie and Julia last week? Meryl Streep was great - and I found the story of Julia Child and her life very interesting. I enjoyed learning about her great married love and the eight years of dedication it took for her to finish her first cookbook. I was never a serious cook, so I never used her cookbook - but I did enjoy watching her shows on television and I certainly have perused her books many times. I liked the movie very much - go and see it.....

More Lego.......

2009-08-03T18:06:00.001-07:00

German artist Jan Vormann has been filling up cracks created in German buildings during World War II with Legos. You can see more of his repair work at his website.

Saturday Smile.......

2009-08-01T14:05:00.000-07:00

Did I mention we felt a breeze here today? A breeze....not a big breeze, but a little wisp of air moving........it felt glorious. It is still sunny and hot - but a little bit of breeze was very welcoming...... Now here is a little clip for you to enjoy...

Birthers.........the lizard people?

2009-08-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

A few years ago we went to see Bill Maher when he came to Vancouver. I know many of my friends don't agree with his views (looking at you Leslie) but he is wickedly funny and sarcastic. Last night he finished up his show talking about the Birther movement in the United States.......enjoy...

WTF Television.........

2009-07-28T16:31:00.000-07:00

The day we bought a Personal Video Recorder is the day that started me into crazy reality television viewing. I can tape all the shows - Little Couple, 18 Kids and Counting, Millionaire Matchmaker, Say Yes to the Dress, Jon and Kate Plus 8 - there is NO limit to what I can tape. Then - when there is nothing on television (no election to follow, no Lost, no Office) - I can speed through these shows. I know, I know - no need to lecture me.....

So - today I will tell you that for a weekly dose of WTF, you need to watch Toddlers and Tiaras. I taped it the other day and man, oh man - the people in this show are aliens to me. The first show of the new season featured an Anna Nichole Smith look-alike 4 year old. Her mother has spent over $65,000 on her daughter's pageant clothes, coaching, entries and makeup. Then there were two twin 6 year old sisters - AshLynn and BreAnne, who are forced to compete against each other. Poor AshLynn will be growing up knowing with certainty that "mom always liked you best" - BreAnn is clearly the favourite. BreAnne usually wins the crowns, but at this pageant, she threw a temper tantrum and her father wouldn't let her compete for the rest of the day, so AshLynn ended up winning. BreAnne won't accept this. If you go to this link, you can see what I mean. Who couldn't not watch this??

I'm not sure I should thank my friend Wendy who has now recommended "16 and Pregnant"...just another WTF show to record and watch.........

Lego Forever......

2009-07-28T15:09:00.001-07:00

I still have lots of Lego in the house - I am pretty sure that I will keep it until I can pass it on to a grandchild or hand it back to my son. Until then, I really won't get rid of it. I have many fond memories of my second-born-son and heir playing joyfully for hours with his Lego. When he and his Lego-addicted friends were about 11 they started an interactive game that involved constructing large installations. It was a complicated game and required one full room of his friend's house (yes, one dedicated Lego room). The four or so boys built intricate Lego structures and basically had a continuous interactive game - about what I'm not really sure. Knowing those boys, I am sure they made up the rules as they went along and it likely involved war, intrigue and superheroes. Those were simple and happy days in my son's boyhood. So, the Lego stays......

So you can imagine how I am interested to read of a two-story house being constructed entirely out of Lego bricks in Surrey, England. Over three million Lego bricks have been delivered (we don't own that many). The house will be life-size with a staircase, toilet and shower. Here is a photo of the builder - and he doesn't even look like a Lego character.....

In other Lego news....here is a photo of the Obama Inauguration in Lego

Stinking Hot in Vancouver....

2009-07-28T14:05:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe I am writing those words "stinking hot".......but we have had the most amazing heat wave here. No rain, just hot hot hot. Today it will be 35C (well, that is at least 102F for my American friends - or at least that is what I think it is) In Vancouver no one has air conditioning, so it is a challenge to keep cool. Over Christmas we had record snow, now we are having prolonged record heat - go figure.
My mother is adjusting very well to her new assisted living facility. We bought her a croquet set and bocce set last weekend. She had thought it would be nice if she could play a game outside on the green grass surrounding the facility - so we figured croquet and bocce might just be perfect. At first she thought that she should safe-guard her new games in her room, but she quickly saw that lots of people wanted to join in and play. When the director announced to everyone at lunch that my mother had gotten these new games for everyone in the facility, all the residents applauded and she is now the star! Next step? I am thinking of talking to the Director about getting a WII for them - there is a big television in the lobby....shouldn't they have some of the WII games? Not that I would know how to install or play the WII - but someone should know......
Did I hear you mention "bridge playing genius"? You didn't? Yesterday my bridge partner and I won a REAL honest-to-goodness trophy at a special tournament. Our names are being engraved on our personal trophies and on the big trophy as we speak. You don't believe me? There will be proof my friends.....I will get you proof. No one could be more surprised than us - we are usually in last place (or very close to last place). For a few fleeting moments a flash of orgasmic (or semi-orgasmic) bridge pleasure....
Speaking of crockpots - that monster of a pot has been used five times now. I figure that once I have used it 39.99 times, it will have cost me $1.00 per use. I tried making steel cut oats in it overnight (excellent saving of cooking time in the morning), a great vegetable soup, a stew, chili verde (for a party we had) and pork meat for tacos (for a party we had).....SO....only 34.99 times more to be used. I suspect crockpot usage improves in cooler weather - it is even too hot here to chop vegetables!

I didn't.........

2009-07-21T14:34:00.001-07:00

yes.....I did. I acquired more stuff this week. Over the last year I have spent many days moaning about all the stuff that has found its way to my house. Every time I have done home repairs or renovations, I have dutifully and righteously sent stuff to worthy charities (or thrown away the useless stuff). Vases, clothing, furniture no longer needed - you name it, I have cursed every time I realize how much stuff we have accumulated. Then, last month we had to clean out my mother's apartment to prepare for her move into a very small assisted living room - days and days we spent disposing of her stuff......

And then.....what do I do? I go out and purchase this monster.

What could I have been thinking? A crockpot???
Ever since Miguel got cancer in his throat he has been unable to eat regular food. His dentures have been problematic and he still has problems swallowing. So really, soups, stews and stewps (or is it stoups?) are really what he can manage. In my defense, I did ask everyone I know if they had a crockpot that they weren't using - I really didn't want to have to buy something new. And I did search craigslist - but the cost of a new crockpot is the same as most people ask for a used one.....
The problem for me is that I have always been in a hurry - and even more so in the kitchen. I have spent a lifetime cooking (er, burning) everything on high heat....why cook on medium when you can cook it on high heat? Tending to stews and soups? Hmmmm....it is just too easy to forget and walk away.......
So now I'm the proud owner of a crock pot that is almost bigger than our car......if you look closely you might see some beef and vegetables simmering away. You might see that there is a "slow" and "fast" option to this crockpot - of course I had to buy one that had those options. You might also notice that it is set for "fast" - always fast.......

Julie and Julia

2009-07-18T15:06:00.000-07:00

My Tuesday movie group has taken a summer vacation - but I think we will need to call an emergency Tuesday movie viewing to see Julie and Julia in early August. Somehow I can't imagine how Meryl Streep could make the movie without thinking of Dan Ackroyd doing his Julia Child imitation. Given Meryl Streep's ability to believably portray a wide range of accents, I am sure she will do a plausible and non-ironic Julia. Can't wait.....

We did see Bruno the other day. I am probably alone in thinking that Cohen's biting humour makes the world a better place. He exposes many prejudices and hypocrisies in our modern world. He makes us cringe - he is outrageous and over the top. Some of the scenes are hilarious, some are disgusting - he shows us the warped world of celebrity and the danger of an unexamined life. We also saw Seraphine - a movie about an early 20th Century naive painter whose talent is discovered just as she begins to fall into serious mental illness. The movie portrays her loneliness and search for divine inspiration in her beautiful small French town.

Funny that Bruno and Seraphine are described in the same paragraph - they couldn't be more different movies!

Some words are more Louche than others........

2009-07-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

louche \LOOSH\ , adjective:
Of questionable taste or morality; disreputable or indecent; dubious;

You've got to keep yourself free of any suggestion of louche behavior.
-- Anthony West,
A man in a bar, utterly average, though there is something louche about him, something sly.
-- Andrew Holleran, In September, the Light Changes
Danny would be sipping a mai tai or a whiskey sour in some louche West End club.
-- Will Self, Tough, Tough Toys for Tough, Tough Boys

89 Years Old.....

2009-07-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my mother's 89th birthday. A lot has happened in her 89 years - and a lot has happened in the last month.
It is not really a huge surprise to see that she is adjusting beautifully to her new assisted living accommodations. She found moving in with all the "old people" disconcerting at first, but as we pointed out to her, she has gone everyday for years to her local senior centre for many activities, so it isn't the first time she is surrounded by "old people". Although she doesn't embrace new things (electronics, mores, opinions) she has always had a positive approach about new challenges in her life. She has gone into this new phase of her life wanting to continue to have a good and active life - so she has accepted that she needed help with the boring quotidian aspects of life and has gone back to enjoying all her activities and interesting parts of life.
I know I am lucky - so many friends have parents who are resistant to change or are unhappy or slow to adjust to the new changes. But, despite my terrible last month, my mother is now as happy as a clam!
We are taking her out for her birthday today, because her cadre volunteer friends are taking her out for lunch tomorrow and she doesn't like to miss two meals a day at her residence. Who knew??

Yay - Office Supplies...........

2009-07-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

I love office supplies - but post-it notes are one of my favourites. Enjoy.....

Bad Poetry........

2009-07-09T15:10:00.000-07:00

This site always offers some good daily chuckles. Here are a few examples to make you smile. You will need to click on the photo to make it bigger.........

The Stuff..........

2009-07-09T13:20:00.001-07:00

My mother is adjusting very happily to her new assisted living accommodation. It helps that she has a beautiful view of the mountains and English Bay from her window and that she is living just down the street from her home of 25 years. She has been feeling better every day since her accident and now that the move is complete, all the stress of packing and cleaning out her home is gone.

The good news is that we are both happier - we enjoy being able to visit and we both know that this living arrangement is the best for everyone. Miguel and I have been visiting often - helping her get her pictures on the walls, hooking up the television, sorting out bills and just visiting. Phew.........I am so happy that things have worked out for her and for us.

One bad thing is that her stuff migrated to my basement. My stuff, plus her stuff equals lots of stuff. Miguel has tried to organize the new stuff, but he can't camouflage or hide the stuff........it is everywhere. My only concern is if the new stuff starts mating with my stuff - I will really be in trouble.

Peeperphernalia......Schmeeperphernalia.......

2009-07-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

Since I left Wichita, there has been nary a reason to mention Peeps. I just think Canadians don't "get" Peeps. But, if you are ever in Maryland, you will be able to visit the first Peeps & Co. store.

According to the Washington Post, the store -- owned by the preciously named company Just Born -- will be packed with Peeperphernalia including Peeps dressed as Village People, Peep pens, key chains and even fancy china.

In other retail news, I saw mention of MoRoCo in Toronto that offers hundreds of delectable ways to savour, serve, and sip chocolate. It doesn't hurt that their homepage features delicious looking macarons. I'm waiting to hear from my Toronto friends to see if anyone has sampled their offerings.

The Day a Tide Commercial Came to our House......

2009-07-06T19:19:00.000-07:00

I live in Vancouver in a small quaint little cottage. It has a deep rose coloured door. Last week we were approached by location scouts wanting to make a Tide commercial. They liked our door - and they liked the hat rack in our front hall that used to be in my house when I was growing up. We were told that the concept was that someone with nice clean Tide clothes would be filmed getting ready to leave the house. There would be other characters and other houses. Hmmmm....so who would be living in our house?

This was the first time we have ever had filming in the house. It was so much fun to watch the process. To begin with, making a little commercial involves lots of vehicles, lots of huge vans and LOTS of people. When making a commercial, all the people must be fed. Here are the tables being set up on our grass for lunch.

More people outside the house:

More people inside the house:

Imagine our surprise when we found out that a cowboy "lives" in our house. Here is a photo that shows the hat rack (which was moved into the living room) You can see the cowboy getting ready to put on his cowboy hat (and you can see more people working on the commercial)

Finally, after many hours the happy cowboy is filmed leaving the cowboy house.

Who knew we lived in a cowboy house?

Hydralicious......yep, that is my hair........

2009-07-06T16:41:00.001-07:00

I haven't been a nice sweet daughter.........

2009-07-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

I have many friends who have lost their parents. Some of my friends lost parents tragically and at too young an age. I know they miss their parents very much. So what I am going to say will sound so terrible that you will think I am a heartless and cruel person.

The last month, trying to help my mother figure out what to do about her living and medical conditions has been the most trying month of our relationship. My mother, once a self-reliant, fiercely independent and capable woman has morphed into a unsteady, insecure and dependent frail old woman. The motor vehicle accident seems to have changed her physically and mentally. Although she railed against moving into assisted living accommodations, she has no ability to manage daily chores and tasks. Without my help she could not have done all the little tasks that moving entails - changing and cancelling utilities, making address changes, choosing a place to live. She could never have moved physically -- she was unable to make any decisions about packing, sorting, discarding.

The sad part is that she had no concept of what had to be done - and she fixated on the smallest most insignificant details - who would want the coleslaw in her fridge, would I want her underpants that she didn't need anymore ("Are you kidding me, mom?"), what to do with three trunks filled with fabric remnants that she has saved for 30 years or more. Oh - and would I like the pantyhose that she doesn't wear anymore (used of course, just like the underpants).

It has taken us days to weed through all the stuff in her apartment. Yesterday we moved things into her new accommodation and got things unpacked for her. Today she moved in - and so starts the next phase of her life. I had always thought that she could grow old with us in our house - but the last month showed me unequivocally that that was not an option for us. I am saddened and ashamed to think that I have wanted to strangle her at least 10 times over the last few weeks. She isn't particularly grateful for what we have done - I think all the changes forced on her are making her focus on unhappy things.

The thing is that she has changed - and I have changed. And our relationship has changed. And for that I am very sad.........

Michael Jackson - $400 million in debt........

2009-06-26T15:36:00.000-07:00

Here is a great obit from the Onion. Gotta love it.....

King Of Pop Dead At 12June 26, 2009 Issue 45•26 LOS ANGELES—Michael Jackson, a talented child performer known for his love of amusement park rides and his hobby of collecting exotic animals for his Neverland Ranch, died from sudden cardiac arrest Thursday at the age of 12. The prepubescent singer, who enjoyed playing dress-up and often referred to himself as "the King of Pop," was celebrated for his naïve exuberance and his generosity toward other children. "This is a terrible loss for music and for all of us," brother Jermaine Jackson said. "He had so much potential to blossom into a gracious and mature human being. As it is, the world will never know the genius Michael Jackson might have become had he grown up." The singer leaves behind a large body of hits, 25,000 unopened toys, and nearly $400 million of debt.

Out Out Damn Spouse...........

2009-06-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

I have little (no, i take that back, I have NO) compassion for people who cheat while they are in a relationship. We are all human and we all are tempted at various times in our lives. But if you do believe that oaths and promises are important, then you have to uphold those oaths and promises, no matter how difficult that might be. I always made that clear to my first husband - you cheat and it is over. And when I found out he was cheating, it was over. Over......

I would not have been Hillary or Elizabeth Edwards or Silda Spitzer, standing by my husband as he confessed. Over........ Out of the House......Get Away...... So I applaud Mrs. Sanford today for not appearing with her husband and not standing by him as he tries to save his political career.

Marriages are very difficult creatures and we all just love to be in love........ But enough hypocrisy from Family Value leaders who oppose same sex marriages and decry the foibles of others - enough. Sanford was a harsh critic of Bill Clinton. Explaining his decision to back impeachment articles against Clinton he stated" I think what he did in this matter was reprehensible... I feel very comfortable with my vote." I love Jon Stewart's opinion last night about Sanford - he is "just another politician with a conservative mind and liberal penis".........

You might wonder why I have this free time today to rant on about hypocritical conservative men - well, today is the first day I have had free time to blog. My mother has gone out on her first solo adventure (to her book club meeting) and I have a few hours free. That meant paying and filing bills, cleaning my messy desk, sorting through things that need to be done and having a moment of alone time.

Miguel had an almost clean bill of health at his one-year check up. There is no cancer but there is an area of concern that needs monitoring...........I am trying to stay positive and calm. It is good to have him home again - now we just need to get my mother ready for her move next week.

Father's Day...........

2009-06-21T13:14:00.000-07:00

Today as I help my mother continue to sort through her papers and belongings, I think about my Dad. My mother is preparing to move into assisted living to continue living..... It was hard for her to make a decision to move from her own place, but now that she has made it, she can't wait to get there and embrace this new stage in her life. Having said that, she was a bit frustrated at everything that had to be done yesterday and she did admit "maybe it would have been better if I had died in the accident" - but today while sorting through things, she put aside some instructions and score sheets to teach everyone at the lodge to play her second-favourite game "Pay Me".

A friend once said about my Dad that he "enjoyed ill health for many years". He stubbornly refused to get assistance to help make his life easier - refusing home care, beds and chairs to help him with his back pain and mobility aids. He would not consider leaving his home and wouldn't hear of talk about places that would make his life more pleasant or easier for his partner. Nope - he wouldn't hear of it.

My friend purchased lift-chairs for her parents when they moved - and when I took my Mom to look at them, she initially thought they were a huge waste of money - "I'm not spending that much money on a chair". But as she tried them out, it was clear that she was sold. When we were trying them out, I thought about my Dad - how much a lift chair would have eased his chronic pain, how much easier it would have been for him to move positions, and how he could have slept blissfully without pressure on his back.

My Dad died almost 3 years ago. He resisted every effort to move him into assisted living facilities. He spent years in pain trying and refused to get any mobility aids until it was really too late for him to have the time to be outside and get around.

So today I am thinking about my father and all the other stubborn old men I know (and you know who you are). I wish my Dad had chosen an easier old age - and I wish he was still here.

Now - back I go to continue packing and sorting........

And then suddenly, everything changes........

2009-06-17T16:29:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a few weeks of numerous doctor and hospital visits, tending to a very shaken and weak patient, agonizing decisions about future care and a few (ok, more than a few) frustrating moments, but my mother has made the decision to move into an assisted living facility starting on July 1st. Blessedly, they had a vacancy. All that needs to be done now is move her into the facility and then make all of the stuff that she doesn't need anymore "disappear".........
Funnily enough, I think in her heart she knew that she couldn't live on her own anymore. In fact, she didn't even want to live on her own anymore. It took a huge admission on her part to accept that at 89 she could enjoy her life much more if people were feeding her and cleaning for her!! Of course, I have always known that my life would be much better if people fed me and cleaned for me, but my mother is from a different (and probably more realistic) generation.
My mother has been an extremely active senior and I know that she will enjoy proving to everyone that she is the most active senior in her new accommodation. I know she will love being around people who will listen to her stories and jokes (as opposed to mean old me). The best part is that she already knew the facility (as it is basically just a half-block from her apartment) and she knows people that already live there and are very happy. She will be moving just a half-block from where she has lived for 25 years - she will still be able to walk to her senior centre (for bridge and line dancing and book club and movies and special events) and to her beloved lawn bowling club. She can continue to visit her favourite bank tellers to pay bills, shop at all the great stores located in her neighbourhood and be close to all her friends.
It is a miracle I tell you...........a miracle..........

In related news.........it will be a lot of work to move her and disappear her stuff.......So if you hear me whining you will know why.......

Mommy Sadness.....

2009-06-14T19:46:00.000-07:00

There is such a sad and pathetic irony in the fact that having always encouraged my children to go to university in Eastern Canada and to explore other places to live, that I now really hate them living so far away. My first-born left for university almost 8 years ago. In her last term of university, she headed to Shanghai for an exchange program and she stayed to work in China after that. After a few days visiting, she left on Sunday morning to live in Vietnam. Hopefully she will be back to visit us for the Olympics in February 2010 - but that is 8 months away and I am sick of her being so far away. Enough exploring and having her own life already.....enough I tell you......

My second-born who just graduated from the University of Toronto has decided to find work in Toronto - sure it isn't as far as Vietnam - but I have enjoyed having him home.

Having the kids at home was very helpful over the last few weeks as my mother continues to live here with us recuperating from her accident. They were very sweet with her - playing cards with her, listening to her stories (again and again) and allowing me some precious time to get out a bit. I would like to be able to tell you that we have resolved what will happen next - she still isn't able to go home and live independently and yet she is resistant to getting help.

While the children were here we did have some fun. We went to a 10:45 p.m. show of The Hangover and I was clearly the oldest person in the crowded cinema. Usually by 10:45 p.m. I am getting into my comfy pj's, brushing my teeth and getting ready for Jon Stewart. I enjoyed the movie - it is raunchy and crazy - but mainly I was so happy to get out of the house with the kids (my mother was asleep). We also had a big party one night (planned before my mother's accident) with all our family and many friends (old and young). The best part of the party for me was that I had help - hired help. I hired a bartender (who helped set up and take down everything) and two people to serve food. I also hired Oyster Bob - he brings all kinds of fresh oysters and prepares them for the guests throughout the evening. Not everyone eats fresh oysters, but those who love oysters, had lots of them throughout the evening. I would love to be able to shuck oysters easily for entertaining, but it seems like such a dangerous and daunting task - I know for sure there would be injuries. Having someone shuck the oysters is a great treat. So - if you are in Vancouver and ever want fresh oysters - call Oyster Bob.

A week at the quidnuncs....

2009-06-07T18:11:00.000-07:00

All has been crazy in the quidnunc household. My mother was loopy and sick all week after her accident - turns out (after we went back to emergency) that she had a concussion even though she didn't hit her head. She is sore and weak and....yes....still a bit loopy. She is living here and that hasn't been easy. She will be 89 next month and this accident has precipitated changes - she won't be able to drive anymore (her car is a write-off and her doctor will now hopefully not permit her to drive) and a CT Scan has shown some ischemia (I had to look it up) - which means that her brain may be aging faster than her body. Luckily, girlchild is here with me - but that is only for another week. Boychild will come in for a visit too, so that is a great thing......

I am not the only one dealing with aging parents - my friend Cheri moved both her parents into an assisted living facility last week, only to have them take a cab back to their house an hour later! Another friend figured this all out about a year ago and although her parents had mixed feelings about giving up independent living, they have adjusted well to an assisted living facility. I am pretty sure my mother won't make anything easy.....why start at 89??

Now for some smiles.......