Sunday, October 3, 2010

Really really quidnunc....

I never meant to stay away from this blog ..... Somehow once I stopped writing for a few days, I got out of the routine. Plus, although I had lots of things winging around in my brain I just couldn't get my fingers to do the typing. The summer has come and gone - the leaves are falling.

I am always curious about what lies ahead. Heck, this blog is meant to help me figure out the quidnunc-i-ness of life - the "what next"....

Up until Miguel got cancer I was happy about staying in my house and continuing with my work - the old status quo. I bought this house as a single mom when my baby boy wasn't even 3 years old.....I raised the kids in this house - they went to the school up the street - they brought their friends home - we celebrated in this house. I am sentimental about my home.

While we were in Kansas I realized that the time probably was coming to sell the house - but making big decisions then seemed unwise. The idea has been in the back of my muddled mind for a long time. In the spring I started to think it was time - but then my mother got sick and there was no time for new projects. And then.....over this past summer, I spent lots of time thinking of all the pros and cons, the whys and the wherefores.... If I had written everyday about all my ruminations you would have thought I was crazy - "just make a decision girl"....

So....I spared you the agony of listening to me.... As my mother has been relatively healthy I thought that if I was ever going to act, the time had come. So at the end of the summer I started the pre-sale purge... shredded business papers, organized shelves, donated lots of stuff to the Salvation Army, stored the children's artwork, photos, memorabilia in big bins for the day they have their own places..... In a brilliant moment of inspiration I invited my older meaner sister to come out to motivate and help. She arrived in early September and we packed and hauled and organized and cleaned. And then....presto - the house was put on the market.

It has been about 10 days since the first open house for agents - and I have to confess that I am scared shitless about what comes next. Townhouse, apartment, city, suburbs, out of town?? How will we ever be able to make a decision? What if we are making a big mistake?

See.....aren't you glad you didn't have to listen to all this indecision all summer long?

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