Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day...........

Today as I help my mother continue to sort through her papers and belongings, I think about my Dad. My mother is preparing to move into assisted living to continue living..... It was hard for her to make a decision to move from her own place, but now that she has made it, she can't wait to get there and embrace this new stage in her life. Having said that, she was a bit frustrated at everything that had to be done yesterday and she did admit "maybe it would have been better if I had died in the accident" - but today while sorting through things, she put aside some instructions and score sheets to teach everyone at the lodge to play her second-favourite game "Pay Me".

A friend once said about my Dad that he "enjoyed ill health for many years". He stubbornly refused to get assistance to help make his life easier - refusing home care, beds and chairs to help him with his back pain and mobility aids. He would not consider leaving his home and wouldn't hear of talk about places that would make his life more pleasant or easier for his partner. Nope - he wouldn't hear of it.

My friend purchased lift-chairs for her parents when they moved - and when I took my Mom to look at them, she initially thought they were a huge waste of money - "I'm not spending that much money on a chair". But as she tried them out, it was clear that she was sold. When we were trying them out, I thought about my Dad - how much a lift chair would have eased his chronic pain, how much easier it would have been for him to move positions, and how he could have slept blissfully without pressure on his back.

My Dad died almost 3 years ago. He resisted every effort to move him into assisted living facilities. He spent years in pain trying and refused to get any mobility aids until it was really too late for him to have the time to be outside and get around.

So today I am thinking about my father and all the other stubborn old men I know (and you know who you are). I wish my Dad had chosen an easier old age - and I wish he was still here.

Now - back I go to continue packing and sorting........

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

OUCH!

m*

Anonymous said...

Ok so I am only leaving this here because I dont know your email but I thought you would want to know that Jim got Pam
Jacob

Anonymous said...

Jacob - leave full details at:
quidnuncjournal at gmail.com I am happy to hear that true love wins out, but enquiring minds need to know all the juicy details. And....do try not to get stubborn in your old age....